Have her thoughts changed (long)

[hammo]

I posted about this girl a few times over the last half-year. I'll summarize what's happened so far.

I asked out this really nice girl. She's very popular. She rejected me because she said she was abused by her ex and said she wasn't ready for another boyfriend.

After this i think she was trying to avoid me, but when she had to sit near me in class (we'd never met outside of the classroom) she was always as nice and friendly as usual. I was always really nervous around her. We never spoke about me asking her out again, acted as if it never happened.

 

Half a year later...

 

Now this year she's only in my study class, so i could easily talk to her if i want to, but she's always surrounded by her friends who don't know me, don't like me or just plain don't care.

 

At my friends party, one of her friends asked me if i still like her. I said i do. Now she tends to hassle me (in a friendly way) about it.

 

Normaly in study class i sit alone or with one or two other peoplethat i know a little, because i don't really know/like anyone in the group she talks with.

 

But ever since they found out i still like her, they (mostly girls) have suddenly became really friendly to me. Girls that i don't even know say hello, and a few of her friends that i have known for like 7 years who thought i was a jerk have also begun to be really friendly with me.

 

If the subject of me liking this girl ever comes up in a conversation (I used to be really shy about it, but now i don't seem to have that much trouble talking about it) she always smiles really stupidly and tries to change the subject. She says nothing about it but doesn't seem to mind.

 

Even though i sit near her in study a lot, her friends talk to me but she hardly says anything, even though she is always really loud in conversations. The weird thing is out of the 6-7 things she said to me all year, all of them were compliments like "that was a really funny joke" or "I hear you did well on your exams last year, well done".

 

I want to find out how to find out wether this girl's thoughts about me have changed, and how to go about it. I don't want to ask her out straight because then i would have trouble talking to her even more if she rejects me, plus if she does the same thing like last time she'll try to avoid me and i might lose some new friends i just made.

If i ask any of her friends if she's said anything about me, they'll probably run off and spill the beans telling everyone i want to ask her out and all this.

Help

[hammo]

C'mon guys i'd really like your opinions on this! Does this thing with her friends being all friendly with me mean anything? Pleaze

[abcd1234]

Hi hammo,

 

It certainly sounds like her feelings have changed but i suppose that could be easily mistaken for her actually wanting to be friends with you. I would try to find out what her feelings are towards you, casually ask one of her friends about it next time they talk to you about liking her.

 

Her friend: "So do you still like ?"

You: "Yeah, why do you ask, its not as if she likes me is it?"

 

Hopefully she will say something and not go running off to tell everyone about the conversation.

 

She is giving you compliments, that could be a sign that she is interested or that she wants to be friends, its very hard for a person to tell who is not actually there.

 

I am unsure why her friends are being so friendly to you, it may be becuase the girl is being friendly to you and they all like to follow suit. You know, they all stick together and all have to like the same people and things.

 

I would just try to *extremely* subtely find out if she is interested and then go from there. If you were to go out with her, would it risk your friendship with her and your friendship with all of the others?

 

I hope this is of some help to you.

abcd1234

[dikaia880]

To me it seems that she likes you...

With her friends (who you never really talked to before, right?) being very friendly towards you I would take that as a sign that she's said something about liking you or what not...I'd assume it's more than just a friends thing...If she's alittle more quiet around you thats also a good sign, it means she's a little shy which means she's probably nervous which would lead me to believe she's digging you...

Maybe next time you talk to one of her friends, somehow get the topic out there and try to dig a little (as subtle as possible) and see whats up...

 

Or (as I tell my friends) man up and go talk to her, it's not an easy thing to do but it shows confidence...and whether it works out or not for you...I think you two with still be friends....if she says no blow it off as no big deal and just act like you normally do around her...

Good luck!

[hammo]

Hey, thanx for the advice, the only thing that i don't really get is the fact that she is quiet around me, cos she's not the type of person who would get nervous around someone they like, and also, she doesn't ever go out of her way to see me or anything.

[dikaia880]

You gotta understand that she probably gets quiet around you because she most likely likes you...Quit reading into things to convince yourself that it's nothing...think positive and realize what the rest of us are saying...She most likely digs you, of not oh well whats the worst that could happen...what ever could happen wrong is nothing as bad as sitting around wondering what could possibly have been and regreting not asking her!!!!

 

This may sound harsh, but I tell my boys this all the time....

 

"MAN UP!!!" do something before you can't!!!