Facebook Breakup Question

[matt1284]

Me and my girlfriend broke up on good terms or so I thought. she's made it so easy for me to get over her because of how immature she has been through the process. She's been utterly nasty to me throught he past few days. I mean the first thing she does is delete status updates all the way up to november about me and all the pictures. I know this girl is crazy about me and loves me. Why is she being so immature about the break up

[agent1607307371]

Was the break up mutual or did you break up with her?

 

Sounds like she's not happy about it.

[epson391]

My ex is doing the same thing to me right now. She is being very immuture about the whole thing. What I think it is, is that she doesnt understand why you too broke up and she wants to do little things like that to see if you guys get into a fight. She would rather have you mad at her so in her own mind she has a reason for you two to be over. From experiance, all women do this type of thing, the best thing for you to possibly do is to ignore it completely dont even let it phase you. Trust me on this one it easier if you just didnt look at her page. Remember the only saying : People hurt the ones they love.

[iBroken]

Im not sure how its immature?

 

Shes removing you from her facebook? Moving on?

 

I dont know why so many people put an emphasis on whats happening on facebook lol.

 

And sure, she loves you - that is probably why she is removing reminders of you from facebook. When she is of the sane mind, she will probably just delete you rather then delete your posts. We all have mushy brain moments post break up.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I don't think what she is doing is necessarily immature. First of all...it's facebook. Facebook. Not that big of a deal. Second of all, I don't want my freshly served ex boyfriend plastered on one of my most used sites.

 

Lastly, she's crazy about you and loves you? Obviously she isn't or the breakup wouldn't be mutual.

[epson391]

Exactly you were in her past, deleting facebook status are to get under your skin and make you look like the weaker one if you get needy and clingy

[matt1284]

I don't think what she is doing is necessarily immature. First of all...it's facebook. Facebook. Not that big of a deal. Second of all, I don't want my freshly served ex boyfriend plastered on one of my most used sites.

 

Lastly, she's crazy about you and loves you? Obviously she isn't or the breakup wouldn't be mutual.

 

When I said she's crazy about me I meant it. This girl planned a day for us to get married and for her to move in. I didn't even bring up the topic. She would always buy things for the appartment and what not in anticipation for her moving in. She told me I am the love of her life ect. I know sometimes people get caught up in puppy love. It was the day before us telling my mother and her parents that she was moving in. Three days before she was telling me how excited she was about it for me to come home to her after work and what not and how she was excited about me getting her a promise ring. Well we got in a big argument the day before telling the rents. So she was already emotional. She works at a grocery store and requested a transfer. She would get 5-10 less hours and money is tight for her. I know its a big step to move in with someone and it can be very emotional. So she told me she wanted to postpone moving in until later the day before. She said she had been thinking about it for a month. I really want someone who can express their feelings and not hold back. So that night me and her worked it out and she decided she was moving in at the planned date. Then I fell asleep on the couch. She came to wake me up and told me she changed her mind after we worked it out. I got upset with her cause I felt manipulated. She told me it wouldn't effect us but I could tell more from her face. So I left and she was upset because I would hardly kiss her. She was extremely upset because I left. The next day she tells shes tired of fighting and wants a few days apart. I feel I did nothing wrong. So I tell her that she's playing games(she doesn't like that) I told her I wanted some answers and explanations. She talked more about the space so I told her maybe it's best we call it off. Everything was hunkadory until this encounter really. We would fight every now and then about little things, but nothing that can't be worked out.

[matt1284]

neone have more thoughts

[Starbourne]

My girl friend dumped me back in feb on facebook, and saying that is a stretch. She actually ignored me for 3 weeks to get ME to break up with HER. Even more so, she denied my request to talk in person about breaking up, and ignored my phone calls.

 

Post break up, she started acting very immature as well. She said a lot of hurtful and bitter things, and continues to. She became pissed at me when i didnt talk to her for a week (NC) and told me she'd throw my stuff that was at her place in the garbage if i didnt talk to her and get it (which i still haven't).

 

It's strange. The relationship that i had with her was fantastic... but i guess she didnt/doesn't know what she wants (GIGS maybe?).

 

It could be that she's just trying to make you into the bad guy to take the guilt off of herself for breaking up. That's probably what my ex is doing. Just hold yourself to your standards and stay respectful.

[matt1284]

i deleted her off facebook finally god it felt so good. She knows that I am going over there on saturday to work on my car and get it out away from her house. so she made a status update about "very excited for saturday. It's gonna be so much fun so I don't know what she has up her sleeve but I just wanna finish my car and dip.

[epson391]

Always sucks when you leave stuff there, and about the hole saturday status thing probably means she is thinking about saturday and doesnt want you to see her sad! she is trying to get you to break down first.

[epson391]

O and about leaving stuff at the ex house! listen to my list: ipod, laptop, tv, nintendo wii, dvds, tons of cloths .... and way more and im not going back for it i dont care! but i dont blame you for wanting your car.

[matt1284]

Always sucks when you leave stuff there, and about the hole saturday status thing probably means she is thinking about saturday and doesnt want you to see her sad! she is trying to get you to break down first.

 

i mean I still don't understand why she is being so immature I really didn't do anything wrong. She's just made the whole break-up so much easier for me. I can't wait for the day she tries to contact me again.

[matt1284]

going over there tomorrow to finish working on my car wish me luck guys I don't know what she has up her sleeve

[epson391]

Good Luck be strong

[Amore]

Although she seems to be very emotionally confused, I wouldn't say your ex is being immature by deleting "Facebook stuff" of you two. I doubt she is doing this to get a reaction from you, but rather for her own sake - to help move on.

 

It sounds like something was bothering her about the relationship so that the commitment of moving in together was completely overwhelming to her. Adults in healthy relationships, however, do not break down and run when there are issues involved in committing, but rather sit down with their partner and discuss problems and solutions. This is something you seem to realize (where you said you value someone who will discuss their emotions with you). While she was clearly infatuated with you ("caught up in the puppy love," like you said), it seems like she cracked under the pressure to move in together and is not emotionally ready to make a big commitment.

 

Anyway, my point is that her emotions must be in a whirlwind right now, and I highly disagree that she's playing games with you on Facebook. She most likely just wants the constant reminders gone so she can get her emotions and thoughts in tow.

[matt1284]

It's just crazy I am 20 and she's 21. I guess I am mature for my age when it comes to a relationship and I know what I want. These younger girls still have no idea.

[Amore]

It's just crazy I am 20 and she's 21. I guess I am mature for my age when it comes to a relationship and I know what I want. These younger girls still have no idea.

 

Now that I know her age, I'm almost positive that's what happened - she freaked from commitment. While you may know what you want at your age, most people don't. Moving in together and making that commitment is a HUGE emotional deal (like you've recognized) and she clearly wasn't ready. There's nothing wrong with either of you, you just want different things from a relationship at this point in your life.

 

Try as hard as you can to realize that her FB actions aren't meant to be cruel to you, and try to move on. We're all here for you.

[matt1284]

Now that I know her age, I'm almost positive that's what happened - she freaked from commitment. While you may know what you want at your age, most people don't. Moving in together and making that commitment is a HUGE emotional deal (like you've recognized) and she clearly wasn't ready. There's nothing wrong with either of you, you just want different things from a relationship at this point in your life.

 

Try as hard as you can to realize that her FB actions aren't meant to be cruel to you, and try to move on. We're all here for you.

 

Oh I don't take them as being cruel. It's just a little immature high-schoolish. Every single relationship has been a mutual ending break up as in we still talk and what not. This one it's like I am seeing a different side of her after this all. Remember it was her idea to move in I did not push her into this.

[Amore]

Oh I don't take them as being cruel. It's just a little immature high-schoolish. Every single relationship has been a mutual ending break up as in we still talk and what not. This one it's like I am seeing a different side of her after this all. Remember it was her idea to move in I did not push her into this.

 

Even if it was her idea at first to move in, it really seems like she started panicking halfway through the decision as she was thinking it over for a month, asking to postpone, etc. I'm not saying that you in particular were pressuring her, but the whole stress/pressure/anxiety from a big emotional commitment broke her down. Coupled with the fact that she has trouble expressing her feelings was a disaster waiting to happen. Had she gone to you and discussed her concerns about the commitment, things might be different. Learning to communicate with your partner when you are anxious, nervous, etc. is a big part of growing up. This is something she must learn on her own, however.

 

Just remember that all break-ups, like all relationships, are different. Don't expect to able to talk to her and be friends right after the break-up even if all of your past break-ups were that way. Some people (like your ex) need lots of time and space, by doing things such as erasing the reminders of a relationship, in order to move on. Everyone copes differently.

 

Hang in there, stay strong tomorrow when you see her.

[matt1284]

Thanks so much I will. Glad her family is going to be there. They love me to death.

[matt1284]

Her family was nice to me as ever. Even her brother's gf which was surprising. This whole weekend finally got me thinking clear. I am just as responsible for the breakup as she is. I would fight with her over the silliest things. She just felt like she couldn't please me or do anything right. I don't blame her. There is somethings about her that bother me but there is so much upside. I realized I really do love this girl and life is to short not to try and work things out. I am going to send her a little something appologizing and telling her I was wrong for fighting with her and not trusting her. I had no reason to not trust her. Ever since the divorce of my parents trust has been hard for me. This girl means alot to me and I have to atleast try. I messed up. Wish me luck guys.