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Shy guys: meeting once a month?


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Hello, I have a question for shy guys out there. If someone likes you, and asks you out - how often is too often, is once a month too much? Will it be too intrusive for you?




This guy I've liked for years is shy, he's 32 years old, has never been in relationship. About 1.5 years ago, I finally got the courage to ask him out. We went to meal and movies a few times, he treated me well (pick me up and such - but never paid for me) but when I told him I wanted to be closer, he said he liked someone else (say, Ms. A) to the point that he gave her a ring (and she freaked out He told me he's stupid on these things, etc etc - he was quite open to me.


I dated someone else for a short time because I was hurt, it didn't work. For almost a year I avoided him. Then end of last year he got us circle of friends to go out together. I noticed he became much more attentive to me. We then met up a few times, so I asked him for dinner just two of us again. That time he repeatedly told me that "it's not going to happen" between Ms. A and him. That was like telling me that he was not closing door. We then had another dinner.


In short, the last 5-6 times we met, he had changed a lot to me from how he was 1.5 years ago. Now he is much more relaxed with me, becomes chatty and attentive, even paid for my dinner last Friday.


I sense that he's feeling secure and quite confident around me, but not quite sure that he wants me .... yet. I read that with shy guys we have to move in slow pace and be patient. I know he's not going to ask me out - even though he never refused if I ask him, so I will keep on asking to meet.


I don't plan to ask too often, and I won't talk about feelings / relationships / etc. I will just treat him like close friends, will gently talk about neutral things. I don't want to stifle him or scare him away. Ultimately, I don't want to ruin the friendship even if I don't get him.


So, is once a month ok?

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