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Venting....


ymee

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I feel so alone. I'm in a miserable marraige. Simply because my husband doesn't love me and the only time he does is when he wants something. And as soon as he gets it I'm no longer needed. I hate it. It's like I'm nothing like I used to be. I used to be strong. I was confident! I felt good and if I didn't I'd find a way so that I could. Now I'm so overly emotional it's not even funny. I cry over the stupidest things at least I want to. It's like my head won't let me. . And it's getting so old. I just want to let go. Have fun. Be happy. Not this weaker version of myself. The little girl that thrives off of her husbands forced love. The hot and cold attitude makes me feel bipolar. I do t know how to manage anymore. I feel like I have a million thoughts going through my head and I don't know what to do about it! I don't even know if what I'm saying makes sense I just need tovent before I end up killing myself! I know it's a horrible thingto say and think about but I'm going out of my mind!! I just wish he loved me. I am so happy when he does. I try to be the perfect housewife but it doesn't matter if he want me to begin with and trust me he doesn't. He tells me that everyday. Be tells me how much he wishes he was single or not even single just not with me. How much he doesn't love me. How I'm fat and ugly (I weight 118 pounds!!!) and a million other mean things. I hate this. Anyone feel the same? Or am I just a complete crazy mess?

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