blind date problem

[amyb]

Ok so someone I know is trying to hook me up with a guy she knows. I didn't asked to be set up with anyone, I guess the guy asked her if she knew anyone and she thought of me. So I told this mutual friend to have him add me on FB and we could start talking from there. He adds me but doesn't send any messages until after a couple of weeks. His messages are really vague, he has asked a couple of times what I'm doing on the weekend (which I guess was his was of asking me out) but I just happened to be busy the first couple of times he asked. So a few days ago when he asked again if I was busy on the weekend, I figured he probably wouldn't ask me out directly so I suggested we meet for a coffee. (Keep in mind that I didn't ask to be set up and yet I'm the one who has to ask the guy out). He said sure and told me to pick a time. So I suggested a time and place but then he tells me he doesn't know his way around my town that well and didnt know where that place was (he lives outside the city, about 20 min away and apparently doesnt come into town much). So I gave him specific directions (which were VERY easy, all he had to do was take the exit and stay on the same street for about 5 min, no turning anywhere) but then he suggested a different place to meet which he knew. So I said fine, and then repeated the time just to be sure, but then he messages back and changes the time. Fine. Whatever. But I'm getting irritated. I think he's being a bit difficult. Apparently he is quite shy, but for a 37 year old man I think he should have initiated a date instead of asking me to make the arrangements and then changing everything I suggested. What do you guys think?

The problem is I agreed to go out with this guy and our mutual friend will probably start asking what happened, why wasn't I interested in meeting him etc. if I cancel the date, especially since I did agree to it at first. It's a very awkward situation, this is why I usually dont let people set me up](*,)

[Daligal83]

I'd just go on the date, he may be really nervous about being set up. I know a lot of people don't like it. Give him the one date to see what he's like so you know for sure if there's any level of interest. After that you can make a more informed decision. You just don't really get to know what someone is like over the computer. And you don't owe your friend anything. Just because she set you up doesn't mean that you have to end up seriously dating him.

[amyb]

Thanks for the feedback. I will go on the date but I have no expectations. Besides, I have another date coming up in a couple of weeks so I'm not that interested in dating this blind date guy until I've met the other guy (who I met online). But I guess I could meet him anyway.

[Daligal83]

Meet both! You never know who you will click with. You're a single girl and can date as many people as you want. Try not to be so negative about it and give him a fair chance. If you don't have a good time then you never have to see him again. But there's a chance he could be a great guy and is just really shy about the whole blind date thing.

[amyb]

Ok so I went on the date, and the guy stood me up! We had planned to meet at the mall (because that is one of the few places in town that he knows) and then we were going to go for coffee from there. So I waited about half an hour there and then I decided to leave. A little while later I get an email from him saying that he hadn't realized that at the time we had arranged the mall was closed and he apologized and said he felt bad. So I'm thinking, is this guy stupid or something? I email him back saying fine, dont feel bad, but what does it matter if the mall was closed, we were just meeting there. He didnt respond to that, he just apologized and asked for my number! Obviously I'm not going to give it to him, I want nothing to do with him, but how do I let him down easy? Should I just say, sorry but I don't want to go out with you after you stood me up? Should I be polite or tell him off? I think he misunderstood when I told him not to feel bad about what happened, I really just wanted to get him off my back because he emailed me twice since then before I had a chance to respond. How do I get rid of him now?

[guynextdoor]

Amyb just tell him things start off bad and you are really not interested in dating at this time. he knew what he did wrong, as always first impression is critical.