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Success, Getting Back Together, But Troublesome Feeling


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Dear enotalone,


In the past year I have been through hell from losing the love of my life to the hardships of the military academy I attend. Hearing about the happenings going on between them and carrying the work load that I do. Now things have worked out the way I have wanted and we are talking again with no doubt that we are made for each other. We are 19 and 18 and freshman in college. But recently I have been stressing over us due to some underlying emotions. Back then we were completely in synch and I feel as if that I am the one that is off and now go by a different tune. My humor is not as active and there are pauses in our conversation that bother me. Am I depressed? Is it the stress from school and being treated like a a fresh recruit thats got me feeling blue? The natural flow doesn't feel like its there b/c I think about what to say and what's worrying me instead of going with the flow. Its like a sadness within me and like I need a good cry to get everything out. Not to seem like anything less then a man but its been a tough road. The worst is that I feel like I cannot stop this or that this is how it will be from now on. I have her back and now this feeling comes along. Please someone help me

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Well how long have you and your ex been back together? It is going to feel awkward at first and might feel like this for at least the first month or two. Perfectly normal, as you should be treating this as if you were meeting a whole new person anyways. Give it time to sink in and absorb the feelings. Dont rush into being in synch again...that took time when you two first dated, it will take time now as well.

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That is completely normal. My ex and I got back together over a month and a half ago and thats how I felt for the first few weeks-- I think it's just nerves because you're waiting for the fallout. You don't trust that it will work out, etc.. I could be wrong, but thats what it was in my case. It recently went away, but it took a month for me to feel normal about it again.


I battled it by doing things that made me happy and not thinking about the relationship or how things were going to turn out. Eventually, things just fell back in sync. I didn't call, didn't expect calls, and just did whatever-- fully expecting it to fail, but once I became more comfortable and secure, things progressed right back to normal.


It wasn't easy though. At times I felt so depressed I wanted to cry, it was an overwhelming feeling of unhappiness/fear and "what ifs."

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We actually have plans to get together for Easter break. Although since were keeping "us" on the down low we are renting a room to spend the night together. We agreed to wait for sex but not rule out fooling around. This feeling I have seems very similar to your can you elaborate on how you drove it away?


We broke up february of last year, dated a month b/c my family got in the way. Now we have decided we are right for each other but for some reason I feel like I'm not on the same page as her anymore and its this feeling of panic that is really killing me. Kind of like a hyperactive depressed state with tourettes. One minute I'm feeling alright and then the next I'm feeling so down I could ball my eyes out.

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