MissMaggie Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 i have had feelings for my best guy friend for some time now. I don't think I have ever given him any signals, but of course I could be wrong. Well about two weeks ago we were both drinking and we kissed. He leaned in and kissed me. Afterwards we just looked into each others eyes and smiled. We didn't talk about it and spent the day together two days later. ..no drinking involved or anything and he kissed me again. This time more passionately. Nothing else happened, and I feel it was truly magical. He spent the whole day holding my hand and acting like my boyfriend. Well I figured this had to be talked about, so I called him that night and poured my heart out to him telling him how I've had feelings for him for some time. His response was "we are such good friends and thats it" I thought maybe he didn't feel a connection or something but after that conversation he kissed me again!!! I am so confused and I don't know why he would kiss me again if he just wants to be friends? And these weren't peck on the lips kisses, they were 20 minute long passionate ones... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salicia Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 He sounds like he was just using you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissMaggie Posted March 23, 2010 Author Share Posted March 23, 2010 He sounds like he was just using you. how so? he wasn't trying to have sex with me or anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salicia Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 He didn't have to have sex with you. He was taking advantage of your emotions by kissing you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissMaggie Posted March 23, 2010 Author Share Posted March 23, 2010 He didn't have to have sex with you. He was taking advantage of your emotions by kissing you. i don't think he kissed me because he knew I had feelings for him. We are so close and we have been friends for years. It was just something that seemed to happen. His response is what I don't understand? Why would someone kiss their friend if there were no feelings involved? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salicia Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 i don't think he kissed me because he knew I had feelings for him. We are so close and we have been friends for years. It was just something that seemed to happen. His response is what I don't understand? Why would someone kiss their friend if there were no feelings involved? Either he's been testing you or hiding the real truth. I see that he's definitely not being honest with himself. You guys need to set the record straight with this. If he wants to be strictly friends, then he should act like it. If you tell him that you have feelings for him and he shoots you down, end it there. And the next time he kisses you on the lips, refuse it. If he wants to just be friends with you he needs to act like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
top bloke Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 If he kissed you then there is chemistry making him do it. Perhaps he is fighting his underlying feelings with logic. His behaviour is not consistent with what he says. Ask him why he kissed you if its only friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guynextdoor Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Take a look outside the box. He kissed you, then he tells you that you two are nothing more than friends. Do you really want to be with someone sending you different messages? The true question here is does action speak louder than words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nimisaj Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I don't necessarily think he's using you - in my opinion, you just need to communicate to him that you feel that the friendship could turn into something more (seems like you said that already) - try again, but in a way that's light hearted but not flippant. Guys are always scared of talking about this stuff (most guys) and the subsequent emotions/tension... am I making sense... sort of? Could it be that he's scared to embark on the relationship route? He may really like you, but he may also not want to hurt you - he may want the single/bachelorhood thing... or he's gay, or closeted-gay or confused. Anything is possible, right...? --- Actually, I can relate to your situation since I've kissed a friend of mine and he was very receptive, as well. In my situation, unfortunately, I was very attracted to him and I cared for him; and I wanted a long term relationship and he didn't explain what he wanted exactly (some friend...?! Right?) - this is over the course of months, though - I kissed him months before I admitted I had feelings and whatnot. There were some red flags and I actually felt like I was being played (at times) and unfortunately, for me, I think he was playing games - it was an ego boost for him, maybe. I really hope your friend is less duplicitous and less sinister. I don't talk to him or see him; I tried to make amends and it worked, but then gradually, I needed to move on and the rejection and all of that hurt. I took it too personally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mindelani Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 yeah I agree with what other have said-you shouldn't keep kissing him until he tells you what's going on. He's not necessarily playing with you, he could be confused about how he feels, or is attracted to you but doesn't want a relationship for whatever reason. But he needs to figure this out, either on his own or by talking to you about it. Maybe just mention something like-i don't want to be pushy about this, but I am a bit confused about why you kissed me after you said we were just friends? Hopefully he will be honest with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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