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DO second Chances Work?


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Hi everyone, wanted to come to the forums and ask you guys your opinion. Me and my ex "now girl" have decided to work things out and make a new beginning fro both of us... She seems very happy and I am aswell. But I have heard many people tell me that second chances barely work! Im a little confused, and I know that If i want to make this relationship work, I have to put 100% and not think negative, I just dont know if I should let what people tell me influence me" I know better not too", But I cant seem to help it with this situation..

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of course they can work........ but you both need to be open to talking and reassuring one another.. im currently on a second chance but im struggling because he wont reassure me.

 

forget what others say.. if you want it go get it.

 

Reassure you? But yes I do want her and i want to make her happy... I just dont want to be pushy or hurry things up. Slow and steady is the way to go. But I just have to put all those doubts in the back of my mind...

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Second chances work, I think, as long as:

 

1) Expectations are set from the outset - how often, when, where, etc

 

2) Dialog remains open about what went wrong and what needs to change focusing on what you can do, not what the other person has to do

 

3) Remains fun not mired in the past, but focused on a future

 

I think sometimes the failure of a rekindled relationship is that people go into it because the oxycontin in the brain is in overdrive, the hypothalmus is excreting hormones, and the dialog and actual relationship parts get mired in those biochemical drugs in the head.

 

What I'm saying is: don't let lust drive your actions. Let your head lead, lust will follow.

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Reassure you? But yes I do want her and i want to make her happy... I just dont want to be pushy or hurry things up. Slow and steady is the way to go. But I just have to put all those doubts in the back of my mind...

 

well yes i mean be tactile... show me you want to be with me, if i ask if your ok dont shout me down.

 

we wanted to take things slow but i think really you should go as slow as feels comfortable... if you want to see each other allot and it feels right you should.. no relationship follows a set path.

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If both people are up for it and you can openly talk about what happened the first time and both are willing to fix it or WANT to change then it can work. There was a reason you fell for each other in the first place and most the time it probably still holds true. Life happens, other things come into picture that your partner might not like as much, but the basis is probably still existent.

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WOW. thanks to everyone for your quick responses.. I am giving us a second chance and I am giving myself 100 percent to her, somthing I didnt do when we were together. I hope Ican find complete happyness along with her. And "HOPELIVES" thank you for such a good answer.. I really apriciate it.

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If you're both going to make the effort, then of course it will work out. Depending on the circumstances of why you two broke up, it may be a tough journey but things do get better with time. If you two truly love each other, you'll be able to overcome all obstacles. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years and we're just recovering from a huge bump in our relationship. We must be at like our 5th chance now lol. Everything happens for a reason. I've learned a lot from all the things we've been through and it only reassured me that our love can truly overcome anything. You won't ever know if you don't take the risk! I wish you both success.

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If you're both going to make the effort, then of course it will work out. Depending on the circumstances of why you two broke up, it may be a tough journey but things do get better with time. If you two truly love each other, you'll be able to overcome all obstacles. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years and we're just recovering from a huge bump in our relationship. We must be at like our 5th chance now lol. Everything happens for a reason. I've learned a lot from all the things we've been through and it only reassured me that our love can truly overcome anything. You won't ever know if you don't take the risk! I wish you both success.

 

I have a few questions. How long were you apart? If you dont mind what was the bump? You can PM me if you dont want to answer publicly.

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