What kind of people are they?

[sugar_britches]

All my husbands family seem tarred with the same brush.

 

If they do something which causes hurt to another and that other person expresses how they feel about it, they give out the silent treatement and punish the victim by pouting. They will never apologise but instead turn the whole thing around until they are the victims.

 

How do you deal with people like that?

 

My husband is the worst one for it. I can be sat in tears over something he has said or done that has hurt me and what do i get in return "blanked" and sentenced to a week of the silent treatment. He digs his heels in and refuses point blank to resolve any issues.

[top bloke]

All my husbands family seem tarred with the same brush.

 

If they do something which causes hurt to another and that other person expresses how they feel about it, they give out the silent treatement and punish the victim by pouting. They will never apologise but instead turn the whole thing around until they are the victims.

 

How do you deal with people like that?

 

Its really quite easy. Dont talk about anything of any importance and when they talk act dumb like I do because the aggravaion isnt worth it. They are looking for trouble.

[sugar_britches]

I often wonder if they just love the drama of controlling other peoples emotions. I wonder if they do it for a reaction and the reaction they get is the payoff? which reminds them how powerful they are? Does that make sense?

[top bloke]

I often wonder if they just love the drama of controlling other peoples emotions. I wonder if they do it for a reaction and the reaction they get is the payoff? which reminds them how powerful they are? Does that make sense?

Yes it does make sense.

These people find self importance by putting others down to make themsleves feel better yes. They just enjoy being vindicated whether right or wrong. It gives them self validation and they enjoy putting others down.

[sugar_britches]

if thats the case what is the best effective way of dealing with them? especially my husband that i have to share a house with?

 

He can do something to me that the simplest of people would find totally out of order, disrespectful and so in your face its unreal. I would have to be dead emotionally not to respond. How should i deal with that? How can i put his behaviour back on him so that he faces consequences rather than a payoff?

[top bloke]

if thats the case what is the best effective way of dealing with them? especially my husband that i have to share a house with?

 

He can do something to me that the simplest of people would find totally out of order, disrespectful and so in your face its unreal. I would have to be dead emotionally not to respond. How should i deal with that? How can i put his behaviour back on him so that he faces consequences rather than a payoff?

You have to set boundaries and explain them first because your main goal is to avoid conflict and nurture a better relationship with him. If he puts you down in a big way ..pull him aside ...ask him why and then tell him how you feel.Tell him that its not the way married people should be. Be amicable calm and logical.

If he doesnt start to improve then its a matter of if it is a dealbreaker for you to be treated by him as he does.

If he starts respecting you as he should then youve made a good difference. I know what it is like to be talked to like that and I know that you me or anyone does not deserve it from a loving spouse.