Somewhat apathic/unmotivated

[Kratta]

Hello

 

I've been experiencing a lot of emotional problems during the last 3-4 months. At the beginning it was mainly a lot of built up frustration, for a months I could hardly speak to anyone at school because I had such a hard time keeping everything in check (while the actual solution probably was to let myself get angry from time to time.) I still have problems with this, but now I can at least communicate with people.

I have such a hard time being social though. I do enjoy it, but I have no real motivation or will to start conversation. I mostly do it because I feel so awkward just sitting quite all the time, well, because I am *supposed* to interact with other people. The result is needless to say disappointing, and I mainly get disappointing myself for never managing to get any good interaction with people.

 

I just don't know how to deal with this, it is important for me to learn to act after my emotions, and since this is a very social environment I have a great chance of "practicing" here. On the other hand, I feel so extremely tired of people, while I still need some sort of acknowledgment from them (and yes, I know how freaking ridiculous that sounds, but that's how it is.)

 

Thanks a lot for taking your time with this, Kratta

[turnera]

Sit down and create a list of things you'd like to accomplish. Start tackling them one at a time, one for each week. That gives you 7 days to complete each one. The feeling of accomplishment will help you feel more able to deal with such things.

[Kratta]

Sit down and create a list of things you'd like to accomplish. Start tackling them one at a time, one for each week. That gives you 7 days to complete each one. The feeling of accomplishment will help you feel more able to deal with such things.

 

Thats a great tip, thanks alot

[turnera]

Let us know how it goes!

[Kratta]

Let us know how it goes!

 

Already made a list

 

*EDIT*

 

What the hell, here it goes:

 

-Finish the paintings I started.

-Express my feelings for a certain girl (this one's rather complicated, I have completely no idea of what she thinks of me, but I've been feeling like this for quite som time and if I don't atlest get this out of my system soon, I'm gonna go crazy.)

-Stop smooking (actually had that one planned for some time)

-Limiting my coffee-drinking, max two cups a day.

-Finish that bag I started sewing some months ago.

-Going to a field trip with the school.

 

This is what I could come up with. Some of these things are quite big ones for me, but I've had them in mind for quite some time and I really need to do something about it.

[turnera]

Ok. Break your list down into time frames. Anything have to be done now or soon? Ignore the rest and focus on that one. Just that one. Get it done.

 

Then, once you are not in a time crunch, which of the ones left will make the most difference for you now? Field trip may be the most time-sensitive one. Or, if the girl is moving, I'd talk to her first. If there's a festival you may get your painting into this summer, work on that one. Like that.

 

Also consider which one of these could affect the success of the other ones? If the bag gives you confidence, tackle that. If the smoking cessation will help you smell better (it will), maybe you should go for that before you talk to the girl.

 

Just pick one. Make a vow to accomplish it by Saturday night.

[Lisa Brookes Kift]

Regarding the discomfort around people, it can be really hard especially when you get preoccupied with like you said, how you are "supposed" to be. You mentioned that you've been having emotional issues the last 3-4 months - and wondering if something in particular happened around this time that might have set it all into motion. I'd think a little about that and maybe talk to someone you trust about any personal issues surrounding any of this.

[Kratta]

Regarding the discomfort around people, it can be really hard especially when you get preoccupied with like you said, how you are "supposed" to be. You mentioned that you've been having emotional issues the last 3-4 months - and wondering if something in particular happened around this time that might have set it all into motion. I'd think a little about that and maybe talk to someone you trust about any personal issues surrounding any of this.

 

Well, I moved out from home. Also started a company which put me under alot of stress. I guess that had some to do with it, but I believe that the main issue is that I keep hiding my feels and never act them out. Alot of times I try to be "the nice guy who never starts trouble", when I'm actually very sensetive and should probably stand up for myselfe alot more.

I just don't know how to act out and deal with my emotions. I know that it will bring alot more conflicts in my life, and some people will probably think I'm to much for them, but I'm kinda prepared to take that. I just don't know how to let my emotions take over more.

[Kratta]

Ok. Break your list down into time frames. Anything have to be done now or soon? Ignore the rest and focus on that one. Just that one. Get it done.

 

Then, once you are not in a time crunch, which of the ones left will make the most difference for you now? Field trip may be the most time-sensitive one. Or, if the girl is moving, I'd talk to her first. If there's a festival you may get your painting into this summer, work on that one. Like that.

 

Also consider which one of these could affect the success of the other ones? If the bag gives you confidence, tackle that. If the smoking cessation will help you smell better (it will), maybe you should go for that before you talk to the girl.

 

Just pick one. Make a vow to accomplish it by Saturday night.

 

Yeah, I realised how important it is to chose one, istead of just thinking "but maybe I'll do that one today". I used to be so damn afraid of setting up goals, in case i would fail completing them. Still, your goals (whenever minor or great) is what keeps you going.

[turnera]

Find a therapist. They are awesome at letting you learn about yourself, and how to act in a healthier way. If you feel like you can't afford one, go to link removed and they'll help you find one that fits your budget.

[Kratta]

Find a therapist. They are awesome at letting you learn about yourself, and how to act in a healthier way. If you feel like you can't afford one, go to link removed and they'll help you find one that fits your budget.

 

Sweet, thanks for the tip!

[Lisa Brookes Kift]

I believe that the main issue is that I keep hiding my feels and never act them out. Alot of times I try to be "the nice guy who never starts trouble", when I'm actually very sensetive and should probably stand up for myselfe alot more.

I just don't know how to act out and deal with my emotions. I know that it will bring alot more conflicts in my life, and some people will probably think I'm to much for them, but I'm kinda prepared to take that. I just don't know how to let my emotions take over more.

 

Sounds like there might be some uncertainty around the boundary between yourself and others. I'm also detecting something around lack of assertiveness being in conflict with a lot of unexpressed feelings. Obviously, I can't really assess in this setting but I think finding a therapist is a great idea for you, someone who is trained to examine all of it and help guide you to a place that helps you relate better to yourself, others and the world.