My flatmate hasn't spoken to me properly in weeks!

[Laymisse]

For the last couple of weeks my flatmate has been almost unbearable to live with (there's only the two of us), and i don't know why she's changed. She doesn't speak to me - unless i greet her or ask her a question, and then i get the bare minimal response. I honestly can't remember the last time she asked me a question about me, how my day was, or how i'm doing etc.

I've reached the point now where i'm so sick of trying to force conversation that i just keep silent unless she says something to me, at minimum "hi". I've asked her if i've done something wrong and she says no, i've asked if there's something personal going on with her that she's upset about and she says no. I'm at the end of my patience - i find myself hoping she won't be home when i get back, or that she'll go and spend the weekend somewhere. Not having her in the flat is better than us both being there, sitting in silence.

I just don't even think she realises she's being like this, but i can't keep asking her what's wrong when she refuses to tell me or admit there is anything.

I only have a few weeks left after Easter vacation, but this is just wearing me down. I'm also fed up of washing her dishes with no thankyou, and she alwasy leaves wet clothes in the washing machine which i have to take out and hang out to dry so i can put mine in. Then, she'll put another load in and i have to take her dry stuff, put it in her room, and put the new wet stuff out or i'll never get to do any laundry of my own.

I'm so fed up with this! Moving out isn't an option, but any suggestions?

[jettison]

She's either suffering from depression, really likes her alone time but is forced with living with a roommate, or else you upset her at some point, and she's internalized it and is now resentful toward you.

 

Or, finally, a combination of all 3. I would sit her down and have an honest, non accusatory conversation. Tell her that you value her friendship, and you wish that you could get more from her, and then ask her how you can make that happen.

[Sunny1607307996]

I don't have any suggestions, I just wanted to offer sympathy because I'm in the exact same situation.

 

I live with 3 other people and ever since a disagreement about taking out the trash they don't speak to me. We can be in the exact same room, watching the exact same tv show, and they will speak to each other but not to me. We make dinner in the same kitchen without a word.

 

If I speak to them they'll answer, but they'll never ask me anything or even acknowledge my presence otherwise.

 

And it's not that I think they're being mean on purpose...I just don't even cross their mind unless I force them to think about me. I don't think they realize just how inconsiderate and hurtful they are being because we're all in college and well....some of us just have more growing up to do than others.

 

I'm interested to hear what others have to say for suggestions as well. I just wanted to offer some sympathy. Hang in there, we'll get through it. Hey, want to live with me instead?

[HouseKitten]

Perhaps someone died.

 

Seriously, she might not want to talk about it. Have you observed her behaviour apart from when she's directly speaking to you? Does she mope around a lot even when you're not in the same room, do you find her staring into space or looking miserable, etc etc...

 

Just because she's saying nothings wrong might just mean she really really doesn't want to discuss it. I assume you only know her because you live together - she might not consider you enough of a friend to open up to.

[Laymisse]

In general, she's fine and that's what i don't get. I hear her chatting away for hours on her phone with her friends and she's always out with people doing stuff - meals, cinema etc. We used to be really close last year and that's why we decided to move in together, well more me moving into her spare room. It's not that I have a problem with the fact we have different groups or that we're not best friends this year, it's more the being ignored part that hurts...

[Laymisse]

Some of this is so true in my case!! It does seem exactly like i don't cross her mind, and it really doesn't seem on purpose... hmm, some people! I guess i'll just have to stick it out, i only have three weeks after easter vacation to live with her..good luck with your situation too!