i really need to know what i should do???

[christiewest]

my boyfriend of 7 months just recently told me that he did not like me anymore. he asked for a break and we took one for the weekend. i had no clue what he wanted from this break or what had made him feel this way. three days later, i asked him why he hadnt told me how hed felt the multiple times in the past month or two that i questioned what was wrong with him. he replied he wasnt sure and he supposed that he wanted to see if things would change. i told him i wished hed told me this so i couldve done things differently and been aware of how he was feeling. i asked him what changed and he said that i had started to annoy him and he didnt feel the way that he did before. the bieginning of our relationship was really intense. we talked constantly on the phone and sometimes wouldnt even sleep-wed talk all night. he says he wants it that way again. but i dont believe him i feel like he wants more than a break because originally he said he wanted a "short break" but when i talked to him again he said he didnt want to be together and that he is "sure that he will like me in the future" but probably not any time soon. how can someone be sure they will like someone in the future??? you cant, right? i really love him and i feel like hes confused. five minutes after we broke up, we had an hour conversation that was completely normal and alot like when we had first been going out....then the next day at school he would walk by my classes and look in to see me. i find this frustrating because i feel we should be fixing things instead of just ignoring them...i want to give him time alone but at the same time i dont think it will help. what should i do over the summer? should i move on? or not, because it could ruin any chances of getting back together? does this sound like he wants a break to "re-spark" things as he said, or do you think that he wants apart for good??? i know i want to be friends but ive never gone through this before and dont know how to act...i know i want to stay close with him so we dont forget about each other over the summer. but i need to know if i should ask him to try things again and try to work them out...or if i should give him the summer and then ask??? should i eventually ask him to hang out alone as friends? or should i just ignore him completely??what should i do????

-confused and really sad

[ItsyBitsyMel]

Ok.. listen.. my boyfriend broke up with me and said he wanted to "save me for later" because he didnt want a gf now but he liked me sooo much. BS! he hasnt called since

all im saying is, u cant always believe what they say, u gotta be patient, try to move on with ur life.. without him. If youre lucky, hell come back to u

[lisaria]

Hi Christie,

I'm sorry you're not feeling so good right now. I know how much it can hurt when the ex tells you they don't want to be with you anymore. It's devestating.

Since he was the one that wanted the space then I think you should give it to him. No Contact for a while. Maybe he'll figure out what he wants then and more importantly YOU can figure out what you want. Right now things are pretty confusing and you're hurting so you can't be thinking rationally. Of course, when it comes to love, who does? Not me. But that's another story.

What is it about people that never tell the one's they supposedly care about stuff that will make them stay? He wanted things to change but didn't tell you what or how or anything? How stupid is that? How are things supposed to change if nobody knows anything about it but the dumpee????

What is that about? My ex said he got tired of feeling like he had to call me every night and "check in." I got tired of him calling every night and not having anything to say. God knows, I never asked him to. But if he had said something we could have straightened it out and then laughed about it. They have to talk to us. My ex got so damned quiet at the end and I would ask him what was up and "Nothing" same thing yours said. What in the hell is wrong with them??? Why can't they open their mouths and say what is on their mind. When I tried to talk to him about it he made me feel like it was all in my imagination and it wasn't. They just can't be honest and that kills me because if they had been honest in the first place we would have worked through it and still be together. Same with you, right? But they keep the power by not saying anything and then they leave. It is wrong. But we have to pick ourselves up and keep going even though we'd rather not. Why are we now in this position? Because they couldn't open up and tell us what was going on in their heads.

I don't know if this will help you, but you're not alone and anytime you want to vent or if you get the urge to call him or email him, Don't. Get on here instead. We are all learning stuff from each other and it helps to know you're not alone in this. Take care.

lisaria

[christiewest]

lisaria, thanks alot

i totally agree with you and that is what i said to him

that i wished he had told me so that we couldve have spent the last 3 weeks working things out instead of me growing more and more confused and him disliking me more and more...ive decided that its just because hes too immature to take a step back and look at things reasonably...

instead of realizing somethings wrong and putting in some effort to make it better...he just gets rid of the problem.

this site has helped me so much though ive decided im going to give him alot of space, like no contact but still saying hi when i see him at school and at parties...i want to be nice but also let him have as much space as he possibly needs

weve always been really good friends even for a long time before we went out so i see us as eventually getting along very very well ...haha i hope thats how it goes

anyways hell be gone for the summer so i figure thatll help both of us

maybe i should try to talk to him when he gets back in august? just to let him know i want to hear about his trip and that i care?

i dont care if this will sspark a realtionship or just a friendship but i want us to have some sort of relationship

 

already this friday im going to a party i know he will be at

itll be hard but i think i know how i need to act, ill act like my usual fun self and say hi and be polite but wait for him to talk to me...and if he doesnt then his loss thanks again

 

do you think im going about this the right way?