Where do I begin?

[Mustang]

OK, I've been single for over two years now and I'm getting sick of it.

 

It took me a long time to get over my last ex (as some of you will know!) but it's been about nine months or so since I felt ready to move on.

 

In that time, I've been out on a few dates. I don't have any problems meeting girls and sparking the initial interest. I don't have a problem flirting and having fun with girls but something ALWAYS happens to put girls off. I have no idea what it is, but it keeps happening.

 

The pattern tends to be, I'll meet a girl on a night out and we'll hit it off. We'll flirt and usually kiss. As is so common these days, we'll become Facebook friends and continue from there. This often leads to a date or two but that's all that ever seems to happen. I've lost count of the amount of girls that I've been out with that have been interested in me and then changed their mind what seemed like overnight.

 

Some examples - one girl cancelled a date with me to go out and hook up with someone else, another girl lied to me after four dates or so saying she didn't want a boyfriend only to start going out with someone else straight away and another girl just stopped contacting me. Then there's the girls I meet on nights out that seem to feel sickened by me when they are sober.

 

Most recently, I met a girl on Christmas Eve and we had a drunken kiss. We flirted in between Christmas and New Year. We also kissed on New Year. I asked her out in person she agreed. Since then, she's made it pretty clear that she's not interested. As you can imagine, my confidence levels are at an all time low because of this. I wouldn't say that I let on though.

 

I see a few reasons for this happening - one, my confidence is low and as a result, I perhaps come accross as insecure, needy, boring, etc. The second reason is that at the moment, my life is really getting me down. I am unemployed with a degree that essentially means nothing and I am stuck at home with my parents. I feel like a loser. To most outsiders I guess I am. It's not my fault but I can't seem to get my lfie back on track. I do feel that until I do this, I am not going to interest any girl.

 

Another reason is that I seem to struggle with the level of flirting. Too little flirting and being a nice guy obviously gets you nowhere but flirting all the time and not being genuine seems to be just as bad. I never seem to get the balance right. I'm either too boring or too playful and not taken seriously.

 

What can I do? I said to myself ages ago that I was out of the dating game because the same thing happens over and over again but why should I runaway from it? I know I'm a good person that can offer a lot, I'm just in a bit of hole at the moment.

 

Should I just stop worrying about girls until I get my own life sorted? Or perhaps I should just get a snake and prepare for life on my own! ](*,)

[Mustang]

OK, I've been single for over two years now and I'm getting sick of it.

 

It took me a long time to get over my last ex (as some of you will know!) but it's been about nine months or so since I felt ready to move on.

 

In that time, I've been out on a few dates. I don't have any problems meeting girls and sparking the initial interest. I don't have a problem flirting and having fun with girls but something ALWAYS happens to put girls off. I have no idea what it is, but it keeps happening.

 

The pattern tends to be, I'll meet a girl on a night out and we'll hit it off. We'll flirt and usually kiss. As is so common these days, we'll become Facebook friends and continue from there. This often leads to a date or two but that's all that ever seems to happen. I've lost count of the amount of girls that I've been out with that have been interested in me and then changed their mind what seemed like overnight.

 

Some examples - one girl cancelled a date with me to go out and hook up with someone else, another girl lied to me after four dates or so saying she didn't want a boyfriend only to start going out with someone else straight away and another girl just stopped contacting me. Then there's the girls I meet on nights out that seem to feel sickened by me when they are sober.

 

Most recently, I met a girl on Christmas Eve and we had a drunken kiss. We flirted in between Christmas and New Year. We also kissed on New Year. I asked her out in person she agreed. Since then, she's made it pretty clear that she's not interested. As you can imagine, my confidence levels are at an all time low because of this. I wouldn't say that I let on though.

 

I see a few reasons for this happening - one, my confidence is low and as a result, I perhaps come accross as insecure, needy, boring, etc. The second reason is that at the moment, my life is really getting me down. I am unemployed with a degree that essentially means nothing and I am stuck at home with my parents. I feel like a loser. To most outsiders I guess I am. It's not my fault but I can't seem to get my lfie back on track. I do feel that until I do this, I am not going to interest any girl.

 

Another reason is that I seem to struggle with the level of flirting. Too little flirting and being a nice guy obviously gets you nowhere but flirting all the time and not being genuine seems to be just as bad. I never seem to get the balance right. I'm either too boring or too playful and not taken seriously.

 

What can I do? I said to myself ages ago that I was out of the dating game because the same thing happens over and over again but why should I runaway from it? I know I'm a good person that can offer a lot, I'm just in a bit of hole at the moment.

 

Should I just stop worrying about girls until I get my own life sorted? Or perhaps I should just get a snake and prepare for life on my own! ](*,)

[sweetooth]

First of all, I want to talk about how you are feeling having a degree and no job. I know how you feel because I am in the same position...I have a degrees and no job. Although easier said than done, it's NOT YOUR FAULT! This economy is hurting everyone, and is very discouraging for new grads--We do not have the luxury of the great jobs that should be out there.

 

With that said...I think you're just having a bad run. You seem like a nice guy, both playful and genuine. It happens. I think that right now you should focus more of what your plan is for life. Have you considered grad school? Hobbies? A job that will get you by? Like I said, this economy blows. I have decided to go to Grad school because of it.

 

I think once you have a plan in place, you will start feeling better and once you have your confidence up again, you will be ready to get out there again. There is also no harm in just taking a breather from the dating scene. I took a break after a run like yours. Good luck and know you really are not alone.

[sweetooth]

First of all, I want to talk about how you are feeling having a degree and no job. I know how you feel because I am in the same position...I have a degrees and no job. Although easier said than done, it's NOT YOUR FAULT! This economy is hurting everyone, and is very discouraging for new grads--We do not have the luxury of the great jobs that should be out there.

 

With that said...I think you're just having a bad run. You seem like a nice guy, both playful and genuine. It happens. I think that right now you should focus more of what your plan is for life. Have you considered grad school? Hobbies? A job that will get you by? Like I said, this economy blows. I have decided to go to Grad school because of it.

 

I think once you have a plan in place, you will start feeling better and once you have your confidence up again, you will be ready to get out there again. There is also no harm in just taking a breather from the dating scene. I took a break after a run like yours. Good luck and know you really are not alone.