To tell or not? Help!!

[rivergirl]

Hello,

My bf and I broke up almost 5 months ago. We talked a little at the beggining but now have not spoken in a month and 1/2. Anyway he lives about 13 hours away from me, part of the reason we broke up. So out of nowhere this month I got a job offer in a town 2 hours from him. I took it because it was too good to pass up. But I feel really weird about being so close. Considering that he's making no effort to even contact me lately I wonder if I should even tell him. We had promised we were going to remain friends and I'm feeling okay about the breakup now and would love to hang out with him as friends. And I would be lieing if I didn't add that I would be interested to see what happened when we were together. As our breakup really had not much to do with "us". Anyway what do you all think out there.... Should I call, e-mail, or just leave it alone???

Thanks!!!

[dikaia880]

Tell him!!!

 

I think you should really tell him, I mean what happens if you move there and he calls to see how you're doing? Wouldn't it be a large shock to him if thats how he found out...

 

If it was the distance that ended it, things could (or may not) change...

 

Just email or something asking how he's doing and mention that you took the job, be sure to let him know the reasons why you took it (the whole too good to pass up thing) so he doesn't think you're just trying to get close to him...make the email more about seeing how he's doing that telling him you'll be two hours away...and then see how he responds.

 

Good Luck!

[rivergirl]

Thanks for the suggestion. I really am worried about the idea he might get that I'm doing it just to be closer. But I'm not and if I were to do that I could get a heck of a lot closer then that for sure. So I really want to make sure that I get the point accross that they contacted me for the job and I just couldn't pass it up. Any other advice from others is welcome to as this is for some reason very confusing to me...

[pepsimax]

This is a tough one and I can see why you're worried. If he has email, why not drop him a line and tell him the honest truth. You got a good opportunity and you will be closer, you wanted to let him know in case you bumped into him, and maybe he'd like to meet you for a coffee to catch up once you're settled in? You're not looking to stalk or harass or get back with him, but I think if he saw you by chance, he could well get the wrong impression. If you have nothing to be ashamed of, just be honest. It could be a great way to make a "new" friend.

[rivergirl]

Update!

Well he called tonight. Weird. Anyway I told him and he was excited and said we'll have to go out to dinner and hang out. So hey, it worked out for the best. And maybe hopefully I will make myself a "new" friend!