letter to the X

[cabernet]

Hey, wondering what you think. My gf left me for another man and at first it hurt like hell. After a few days, however, I realized that it wasn't real love that was hurting me, but just my ego which before this experience was absolutely huge. I realized as well that I honestly was never truly in love with her, and that I was a little happy she was gone. I can't be sure, but I have a feeling that this breakup was the best thing to happen to me in a while. It's hard for me to believe since I thought it was the worst thing in my life, but upon reflection of my past I can see that it's the medecine I needed to find the true path to happiness. If it hadn't hurt so much, I would have never learned anything. Anyways, I wanted to tell this to my X. I know she feels bad about dumping me, and I'd like to make her feel better, but if I told her what I've told you would she feel better or worse? Maybe it doesn't matter so long as its the truth.

[QTpie87]

it might make her feel better that you aren't hurt anymore, but i have a feeling that it would hurt her knowing you don't and never did love her. see a few days ago i posted this really horrible e-mail that i wrote to my ex 'cause i realized i messed up doing that and it was wrong for me to do. 'cause my ex ended up writing back to me pretty hurt. so i would just think about it a bit more before you do anything. wish i could help more.

love QTpie87

[Mar]

Hmm.....I'd have to say that I'd feel worse, quite honestly. Think about it-you want to write her a letter letting her know that you feel better now that she's dumped you, and that you weren't in love with her. Granted, if she left you for someone else, she wasn't as in love with you as she might have said either, but still......

 

I would just leave it alone. If she could leave you that easily for someone else, I would take that to mean she didn't much care what you thought one way or another. Yes, she may feel bad, but there must have been a big something missing for her to leave. And that doesn't mean it was soley your fault or soley hers; it could have just been a lack of communication, or the feelings just weren't there, like you said.

 

Move on, I'd say. You're happier, she's apparently happier-you know this was right for you too, so there's no need to pick at that wound and freshen it up if there's not a need to!

 

Mar

[Hopingpraying]

Cab,

 

I would have to say some things are better left unsaid. This would definitely not make her feel better and if anything she would only read it as you trying to be mean and hurt her even more. If thats the way you truly feel, just know that. Write the letter and either rip it up or put it in a safe place. I wouldn't give it to her though. I don't think that is the kind of thing anyone would want to hear or read.

 

Hope this helps.