Should a g/f be friends with past cheating One Night Stand

[Cecelius]

I was talking to an old female friend of mine who recently was dumped by her b/f because she was still friends with a guy she had cheated on an older b/f with.

I told her I agreed with the b/f that it was not appropriate.

 

Note, she did not cheat on THIS b/f, this is something that happened to the last b/f.

 

Current b/f told her that it was because when they were getting to know each other she told him a story about when she went away to an annual party (without her then-b/f) and had sex with a mutual college friend of hers and the then-b/f. She says it was a terrible mistake and regrets it and that the sex itself was horrible and awkward. It happened about 3 years ago and about 1 year before she started hanging out with the current b/f.

 

As she told it, the current b/f broke up with her when he found out that she was basically still friends with the ONS with very occasional contact, that she and the ONS had talked about it and decided that the attraction might have been there and they gave into it once mistakenly but wasn't an issue any longer. She also knew that the relationship she was in at the time was not a good thing

 

She also told him that when she went to that party this past year, the ONS was there with his wife and was lamenting that he shouldn't have gotten married, etc. (I don't know if this means the ONS wants her instead or what -- he was cheating on someone too). This friend is not like an age-old former b/f or best friend, just a generally close school friend, party friend, etc.

 

She told her b/f that he was insecure.

 

I told her that I could see the b/f's issue and that if it were me, I would think it inappropriate for her to still be friends with the guy. Anyone disagree?

[razer]

i agree with you..

[Cecelius]

Assume for the moment too that there is no possibility of additional cheating (his story was that he just found it creepy, and he didn't want to either find himself hanging around with a guy who had sex with his girl under those circumstances [and didn't want to be involved with a g/f who would hang around with such a guy with or without him])

[birdgirl]

Tough one... as a removed person, I could say he is insecure and should get over it. But when I imagine it's me, I think I would not want them to be friends. I would never want them to be alone together. I think it would drive me crazy. Never mind. I retract my first answer. No! It is not appropriate! (I think.) Wow, that's a tough one...

[Cecelius]

The girl is a friend of mine, so I'm not quick to judge, but as it happens she has cheated on all her previous b/fs (2 total) at least a couple times each. I assume that this has something to do with it.

[christopher]

I am not sure how old these people are but if they are adults like in their 20's then just ignore what i am about to say cus that is still aways ahead of me, but if they ar closer to my age then this is my opinion. I think, without any offense meant by this, that this guy sounds a little insecure. I have to admitt that i am a little insecure to but the best thing he could prolly do is to continue with the relationship and get used to it. both of my previous gf's were flirts if you know what i mean and i kept goin out with them until our relationship and it helped me to get over being insecure. and the best advice i can give to Cecelius is that if you find out about her cheating on him you could try to warn him and then he knowsthat he has a reason to be insecure in that relationship.