Should i contact my ex's friend when im ready?

[purpledreams]

Hey people, i've broken up with my gf of 2 and a half yrs five weeks ago. The pain is still there but i think im going ok. What im wondering about though is i sortof had a crush on one of her friends. In time i would love to meet her and go out and date but i just dont know if its too weird. You see i dont have her phone number only her email and she doesnt even know that so it would be a complete surprise for her or even quite weird. Also i really dont want to hurt my ex and even though this friend isnt her best friend (they catchup probably 2/3 times a yr i just dont know what it will do to her. Any suggestions?

[TrueHeart]

Tread softly, friend. Even though she may only be an aquaintance, she still has ties with your XGF by chatting. Give yourself some more time to sort things out. I just broke it off with my BF about 8 weeks ago, and am starting to talk to my XBF again (the man before my former BF)-- Its complicated, and weird...

 

My best suggestion: You might want to give yourself a little more time to make sure thats what you want. I guarentee that though you don't see your XGF anymore, she is probably hurting badly too, and in that state, if she found that out, would indefinitely hurt her more, despite your good intentions.

 

Doesn't sound like much, but be careful. I've had that happen to me, and it doesn't feel good-- anytime.. I felt betrayed even though that totally wasn't the intent..

[babydee]

I'm a bit older than you I realize, but would offer you the following...

 

My ex husband started being very chummy with a good friend of mine while we were married. Since then we have divorced. That is all fine. It was a huge break up after many years of marriage, but we both coped through it. But now - he is engaged to said friend and I couldn't be more upset about it. The betrayal of a girlfriend rocked my world!!! Not the ex - I think we all learn how to move on after being broken hearted, but by a friend? Friends just don't do that! So my advice? Don't encourage it! Pick someone your ex doesn't know....for her own sake!

[purpledreams]

Yeah you're both right. There are heaps of women out there, i was just really attracted to this one and there was a flicker of a spark there aswell. I spose im still in disneyland a bit after our breakup, im not really going fine, its heaps hard. I want to be single for atleast another 6 mths, just had some dreams of connecting with her friend after that period but i should leave it. Thanks again.

[Technical Support]

I think your treading in dangerous territory by getting involved with the ex's friend. Presumably you would find yourself in a situation where you would run into your ex more often and you ex might get jealous and want you back only because you are going out with her friend...I don't know...just so many reasons not to do it...

 

I know what you mean about wanting to be single for a while...my ex told me that she wanted me to go out and date other people. I told her right then and there that I had no intentions of dating any time soon because I was so rocked by our break-up that I couldn't even think about dating anyone new...

 

Well...good luck with whatever you decide...be careful