not sure about how to change...help

[Drumson]

Hey everyone,

I am just gonna say everything I feel about how my life is going right now. For friends and relationships, I have never been in a relationship and everyone I have attempted at has failed. For friends, I feel like I barely have any anymore. All they do is give me crap about everything I do and the way I feel and/or just agree with my negative stuff thereforeeee feelign unsupported. And the one friend who is really my friend has everything I want. I am so envious of him. He tell me about his girl friend all the time and all the fun stuff he does. And his amazing tennis career.

For hobbies and activities and such, I love to play tennis and I always have. Problem with this now is on the school team I am playing 5th doubles and it only goes up to 3rd which means I am the second auxilary team. I also play tennis on Sunday and I am always put on a low court with kids whom I am better than. I also love to goped and recently I just like fell off of it. I am still doing it but it's not the same anymore. I also play the drums and now with tennis after school I never have lessons and I hardly play anymore.

And there is just a bunch of other stuff that just kinda happens interrelated among these two main categories that are bad. I know I should "endulge" in my hobbies and stuff but those all aren't working out and not much time to get a new one. Also I know I am still young. On top of this, my school grades are getting bad cause in school most of the time I am either writeing poetry about my feelings or sleeping. And now its finally summer which I have waited for so long and I have bad allergies. Another problem is I take thing way too seriously and everything bothers me. Like when people joke about me I think that's what they think and it's probably true because people don't say random stuff for no reason. I know I have to make changes and maybe just totally change what I do, but I don't want to change my life that much other than for me to be happy. Reguardless, its hard to make changes since I am always feeling down. Can anyone give me advice of any sort or just support or something? I mean I just don't know what to do anymore. Thanks

[Ladee-Jennifer]

hey drumson............i understand what your going through with friends and with ralationships its hard i should know im there too. especially when you constantly feel down on yourself. i admire you for wanting to change but before you do,set your goals.What do you want to change about yourself. aNd confront your friends(seems like all they're there for is to create problems),about the way they're treating you. like i sed i know what your going through n i know how it is to just sit down write poems and express your feelings to a pen and paper. but sometimes thats not enough.s0 i hope my advice helps you...feel free to send me a message whenever you want.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"If friends are supposed to help you through lifE then why are mine making my LifE hell"

[oakLey_14]

Hey im Melanie. I'm about 2-3 years younger then you and i feel liek the same thing is going on with me and my friends and sometimes my relationship with boys. My friends consently joke about me and i get all mad and I cant control what i do i start throwing punches and kicking them sometimes. I always wanted to change myself to see if it would stop them but i never did. I tell them that it bugs me and then they do it less. Sometimes I won't even go out in the nights so i dont have to be aroudn them or I just go hang around with people that dont bug me. I dont know what to say about your sports and stuff alls i could really relate to with your problem is the friends jokign aroudn and you taking it seriously. I know this isn't the best information but i tried. Bye and good luck with your friends they'll grow up and snap out of it someday.

[Drumson]

I do appreciate the advice. the thing about writeing on a pen and paper may not be enough, well I do talk to people and it really never gets anywhere. honestly the first time i talk to them might be alright and then since i am down alot it gets to the point i dont think they want to hear it anymore. also when people hear this side of me, they dont really want to talk anymore and it just wards people away and makes it worse. With my friends, ive told them before that what they do pisses me off and how they always do it and i am looking into it and trying to find out who are really my friends and who are not. and my goals, are just to do everything i am unhappy about better. i mean i enjoy the things i do they just dont seem to work out though.

thanks for the advice