Found SOULMATE, what to do now?? Long but REALLY need advice

[Eaglemountain]

Hi there! I wonder if anyone has an opinion on this and would like to share it with me...

I'm 27 years old, and I haven't had a serious relationship so far. I wouldn't say that I'm very picky, or unlovable or something, but the thing is that I've never been really interested in any of the guys I've ever meet. For a while I really thought that something was seriously wrong with me... Until I realized that I'm just so damn romantic that I kept waiting for the ONE guy who'd be my soulmate, someone who totally swept me off my feet...

Now I finally met this great guy and I'm absolutely crazy about him. I met him about four weeks ago, and from the start I had this feeling that he was different. I was also very much under the impression that he liked me, and everything he ever said and all his actions just confirmed this feeling - and there was even other people around us who told me that it was very obvious that we liked each other. For example, he told me that I smelled good, he kept touching my arm when he talked to me, just the way he looked at me, the way he treated me...there was definitely something between us, so that some people seeing us together actually thought that we were married! Everything was so easy with him, there was never an awkward moment, and we got along just great. We never kissed or even came close to kissing, it was just a platonic thing.

So here's the complicated part... I'm actually his boss' boss (which I don't have a problem with, but maybe he does?), and in addition to that, the chances that I will ever see him again are pretty slim (too complicated to go into now...).

So the last day we saw each other, I started to panick because I had a feeling that I needed to do something before I fly back home to my office and that I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't. I mean, there's finally a guy I'm really excited about, maybe my soulmate, and I just keep quiet about it? So after a lot of struggling with myself, I told him that I had feelings for him. He was very surprised and didn't know what to say, but he was so nice about it. What he said was that he thought I was really sweet, but that he really hasn't known me for that long...and that he would really like to see me again. BUT he also said that he didn't have those kind of feelings for me. He really was the sweetest guy, trying to tell me this without hurting my feelings...

The problem is that now I like him even more, because the way he reacted really confirmed to me that I was right about him. He's such a great guy! I feel so drawn to him that it scares me!

Now I'm starting to ask myself that maybe it was wrong to be so forward...I'm usually not like that, to be honest I never told a guy that I liked him. But I was really desperate because I didn't want to leave without having told him how I felt.

I don't think that I should be doing anything about this right now because I don't want to scare him off or something. But I honestly do feel that he wasn't honest with me, and that he actually does have some kind of feelings for me. My gut feeling tells me, and the fact that other people noticed something as well really reconfirms this feeling.

 

What do you think, should I still keep up my hopes that one day I will hear from him (he did ask his boss for my phone number after I left), or am I just a total nut imagining stuff and making up things in my mind, and should just accept the fact that he is not interested in me?

[russia]

if he's a real soulmate, he's yours. even if you have to take another year or twenty to get hitched.

 

but i think you are blindsided by people's comments, and not actually sensing his responses to you. in other words, i don't think he's your soulmate. just that he's probably the first guy that met your needs for romance.

 

if he's your soulmate here and now, he won't be saying what he said. he's just your ideal guy. but you may not be his ideal girl. but because of his 'nice' nature and your pre-disposition to him, the two of you look like a real couple and that just adds fuel to the confusion.

 

so while it's not there, if you really like him, then find a way to keep on communicating with him, however far apart. but do try to keep pleasure and business separate. cos it's a world perception that admires men who can mix it up, but not women

[Eaglemountain]

Hi russia,

 

Thanks much for your honest and helpful response. First of all, you are right, the main reason why I was so shy to tell him about my feelings in the first place WAS because it seemed unprofessional to me, and I was scared that I would get a "reputation" if I actually pursued him...even though a lot of men in my company do the same, and nobody cares.

 

But I don't think I'm blind sighted by people's comments. The first week I spent with him, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that he liked me - and believe me, I analyzed all his responses to me in detail. I really liked him and I had the strong feeling that he liked me, but I was still very surprised when after about 1 1/2 weeks, someone came up to me and made a comment about him liking me and vice versa...which only reconfirmed the feeling that I've been having all along.

 

In the meantime, I actually heard from him (he called me). Afterwards, I came to the conclusion that I should stop worrying about whether he loves me or "just" likes me as a friend and accept that whatever happens...happens.