Not sure if we are dating...?

[Allyo]

So this is another one of those "does he like me" threads but I'll try to keep it short. Basically I'm getting indirect signals from I guy that I have gotten to know in a friendship context, and now I have developed feelings for him.

 

I met this guy at the start of my master's program, and we hit it off really well. I only considered him as a potential friend, since I was in the process of breaking off a 7 month relationship with somebody else. As the weeks went on (I have known him for about 2 months now) we began hanging out in our group of friends, and somehow we always gravitated towards each other and ended up talking one-on-one, whether it was in the cafeteria, in parties, when we went out dancing, etc. I think it actually took away a lot of stress since we got to know each other as friends first, but I slowly realized that I had begun developing feelings for him.

 

He started giving me little compliments, telling me that he liked my laugh or that he liked talking me because I was interesting or different. Then he kept casually inviting me out to go out with just him (instead of the group), but it would never seem to happen. He would tell me that he was planning on going to a tennis class and wanted me to come along, or that if I ever wanted to hang out after class or see a movie in his house (he has a lot of movies) that I was welcome to come. But it seemed like he would never set a date.

 

Then in a party he told me he had been wanting to invite me to go see a movie in the theatre (just us). Again, he failed to set a date and we kept on talking about other stuff. Finally I broke down and sent him a message saying let's go see the movie this wednesday. First time out just us. But the truth is... I have absolutely no idea if it was a date! We spent the entire afternoon and evening together... We went out for coffee, went shopping, ate dinner, saw a movie, walked around afterwards... flirting but no touching/kissing!

 

I have developed feelings for him, but I'm afraid to be more direct. Is this behavior of an interested and possibly shy man? I am in no rush to get into another relationship, but I suppose if things go well and preferably slowly I wouldn't be opposed to it. What should of strategy should I take from here on? Thanks beforehand for the advice

[mysticdaisy]

Well, you could:

A) Talk to him about it, however obliquely you wish.

B) Kiss him at some point and see what happens.

C) Touch him a lot when you're alone (you know, like the quick hand on the thigh "Oh you silly boy!" sort of thing) and then lean in kind of close-ish and just stare at him a bit and see what happens.

D) Repeat (perhaps a slightly watered down version of) C a bunch of times over a week or two and see what happens.

 

Etc. etc. Definitely a possibility, though, and you should pursue, whether cautiously or not!

[shangrila]

i vote for just kiss him. honestly right now you are at that point where whether he is interested or not, he is going to move on to some other girl because he will get tired of wanting you without getting you. the worst thing he could do if you kiss him is say he isnt interested. the best thing is that he likes you and you two are now together.

 

either way, its your best option. and if he is a shy guy, it'll really help him out because he'll never make a move if he's shy, but if you take charge he'll be relieved and it'll also boost his ego

[onewithbooks]

Hmm, why dont you just ask him out again and then when he agrees, say "Good, then its a date". That makes it clear. Then when you are out with him hold his hand.

 

He sounds like he is just shy.

[volpe]

I agree...... sounds like he is shy......