Deciding when to meet...

[ay0_x]

Hey all.

 

For the past 5 months I've had this guy on my msn, we started chatting on a dating site but nothing happened, and we hardly MSN'd so...

 

Past few days we started chatting. We make each other laugh, we have a lot in common [but not so much that we run out of things to talk about].

 

We've been chatting for 4 days nonstop. First person to text in the morning, last voice I hear late at night and heaps of texts and IMs during the day.

 

The thing is the 1st time, I stopped talking to him because I was an ardent atheist and his strict Maronite Christianity kind of turned me off, and so did the age difference (I'm 18, he's 26). This time around I'm not so strong with my atheism (after doing a lot of soulsearching), and I've done enough partying/clubbing/dating to be so totally over it it makes me want to vomit. So now instead of looking at him as a red flag he's more an inspiration to me...

 

But I don't know when to meet him. I know I do want to meet him, but I don't know when. I've been thinking of just showing up at his work and surprising him (he manages an office and has heaps of spare time), because that's pretty much my style.

 

So. Decisions decisions. Should I be conventional and just have dinner with him or do what's more my style & would put a smile on his face?

 

& how long do you think I should hold it off? Do it now & get it over with so there's no worry about chemistry, or leave it until we have a stronger bond so that the "sucky first date" scenario doesn't apply?

[D_Lish]

I dont appreciate anybody just turning up out of the blue and to come and see me, so I'd suggest dinner. Actually I wouldnt suggest anything, I'd await him asking me...

 

You can still have a 'sucky first date' as you put it and whether you have spent five minutes chatting, or 5 years....

Things are very different in real life and despite feeling a spark and a connection online, it may not be present in real life.

 

I think common sense tells us, that rather than invest time online with someone, only for it not to work out in real life.....you are best off meeting asap

[BamFlux]

Best way to find out if you're compatible is to do as D_Lish is saying and go with the awkward first date. Face to face meetings will tell you within minutes if it's going to work out.

 

I would have to disagree that you should wait for him to ask you. It's the 21st century, and I think it's pretty standard for girls to make these sort of gestures now. Besides, showing some interest on your side could lead to a drop in the inevitable awkwardness.

 

I probably wouldn't drop in on his work without invitation, especially if he's 26. I've had a previous girlfriend do this exact thing to me (Drop in to work unexpectedly) and while I appreciated the gesture I felt really uncomfortable mixing that part of my life with my workmates. That said, I was managing a large group of very professional people which made it highly innapropriate.

 

Another thing I'd like to express is that religious issues (Especially Atheism vs Catholicism) can be a massive pain in a relationship. As an Athiest I've tried dating highly religious people and I just can't make those relationships work. But I certainly wish you luck doing so!

[jc123]

i think you have got to the point where you should go on your first date. i do reccomend that you take a friend with you if you can. not to sit with you but to be near in case you get in trouble.