Did you ask if I'll have your baby??

[AnotherChick]

Hello!

 

I really just thought this was not a big deal, but figured I would run it by a panel of experts to see what other people have experienced. This feeds off of an earlier posting: "Overcooked Relationship".

 

I simply asked my boyfriend of 15 months, how he felt about the relationship, any comments, concerns, etc. Mentioned that it seems odd we are moving so slow in the "I love you" department, and what are his thoughts on this. His response...which shocked the heck out of me...was...well, "things are fine. I think this is just our own pace. However, I want you to know that I'm really starting to realize I want to have kids in the next couple of years."

 

After I quit reeling and my head quit spinnining, I simply pointed out that I just want to fall in love and could we take a few steps back and talk about that.

 

I've always said "I NEVER want children.", so I'm glad my bf decided to tackle this topic because he has a right to know if I'm compatible in this regard. However, I really have meant through out the years, "I NEVER want to have children with a man I'm not in love with." (If it can be controlled.) So, this is a bit of a crux. My bf and I have not made it to the love department, but we're chatting about kids. I won't be pressured into anything, but I can't get all of this off my mind. I feel a little bit pigeon-holed. Continue dating = child bearing or else we're just spinning our wheels. What a weird situation. Anyone else been here?

[pip]

I think you're in a good position. I'd rather be with a man who said he'd like to have kids with me one day (even if I wasn't sure if I loved him) than be with a man I really loved who DIDN'T want to have kids with me.