Too late now..? :X

[Fortyonesixty]

Hey all, long time 'lurker' I suppose, first time poster but basically I'm in 12th grade of highschool and since about Grade 10 I've 'known' this really attractive, smart and cool girl, I had one class with her in Grade 10, didn't really talk much, but ended up talking on facebook, and then msn pretty often, during the summer before Grade 11 she went through a breakup and I guess she needed someone to talk to, gave her a few kind words and some support (as best I could over the internet lol). Coming back from summer she started flirting with me every now and again, mostly as I left the cafeteria because she had a lunch in a different period, anyways, since then I've been keeping regular contact on msn, but have not spoken in school at all, have not had ANY classes with her, just seeing her the odd time in the hall really, she's popular so has a lot of friends, though I am close friends with a lot of her close friends, I never get to hang out with her/them at the same time.

 

Well there's the history, but this year started only about two weeks ago, she takes the same route as I do to the 3rd period class (going in the opposite directions) and I'm pretty much a wimp cause I wont even be able to look at her, I know it probably sounds weird but I just get nervous (not good in social situations with people that I like, unless I'm comfortable with them) and today she was walking with some friends and I overheard her talking with them about how I don't even come by to say hi or anything, didn't sound like she was making fun of me or anything, just commenting on the situation I suppose.

 

Well basically I was just wondering if she's at all interested anymore, if it's still possible, we have a few classes together next semester, and that comment sort of made me think, though the main reason I wouldn't walk up to her to say hey is because I'd imagine that I'd look like an idiot, even though I'd know everyone else there, it'd just feel like she'd think I'm some creeper coming up to her to say hi in front of her friends or something >.

 

Sorry for the long-ish post, hope to hear some replies and thought on this.

[knightNshiningarmor]

First of all, welcome...now to your situation...your nervous...ok so most of us start out that way i sure did...asking the girl i like to prom was one of my most memorable nervous moments ever...guess what...she said no...guess what else...life went on and actually someone who liked me ended up asking me the next day and we ended up dating for about a year and had a lot of good times. Moral of the story? Dont be afraid of no...its just an answer its just a response and she is only ONE person. Stop analyzing what you will or should say to make her fall in love with you and relax. Understand that with the right person there are no mistakes at least none that cant be undone when it comes to early interaction. Next time you see her, well you ever have those moments when your walking right towards someone and you both break off in the same direction...here is a hint most people break off to the right side...so the next time you see her walking towards you, walk towards her and when the break comes you break to your left and you do that little dance people do when that happens, dont over do it just simple and as you walk pass just beam a big smile. That being said practice walking with more confidence and by this i mean head up your chin should be about parallel with the ground and wear a smile more. You'll be surprised when people start coming up to you and asking if you have changed your hair or something.

[Knight of Hope]

Well, it's hard to tell whether she's interested or not (I can't tell if she was ever interested, or if she was just friendly). I'd guess she's not, but girls (especially teenage girls) change their minds at the drop of a hat, so you never know. Also, I don't pretend to understand women, much less teenage girls. You never know what's going on in their minds! (Honestly, I don't think even teenage girls know what's going on in their own minds! lol)

 

But here's some advice. Hopefully it will help with this girl, or another girl in the future.

 

(1) You said you're "not good in social situations with people that [you] like, unless [you're] comfortable with them". So why not get comfortable with her? Hang with her and her friends once in a while, try and talk to her a teeny tiny bit in the hall. Once you're talking to her more often, add in a few more words. You'll be surprised how fast a friendship can grow!

 

(2) Why would she think you were a creeper if you walked up to her and said hi? You talk to her regularly on MSN. You definitely know her well enough to say hi. Actually, you know most strangers enough to go up and say hi. It's just being friendly. Most people appreciate that. If they don't, they're not worth your effort.

 

(3) When a female friend is going through a rough time, for sure support her, but don't be her primary shoulder to cry on. From my experience, that's a really good way to make her classify you as just a friend, and not boyfriend material.

 

(4) Follow (1), but instead of with one girl, get comfortable with a whole bunch of people. Talk to people. Be friendly. Ask people to do things. You'll find yourself making friends, and you'll find your confidence growing as well. Confidence, I hear, is the #1 thing girls look for in a guy. And having a lot of friends (while still maintaining your close friendships) is a great thing - good way to meet even more people, too. This advice will help you a lot in college (you're very close to it!), too.

[Fortyonesixty]

Thanks for the advice guys, I think I'll just, well I don't know lol, I mean the only time I really see her is once during the day in a hallway, walking with her friends and me with mine, so it'd be kind of akward to stand in the middle of the hallway just to randomly say hi after not doing so for kind of a while now, maybe it's just me, but before I do something I usually think about how I would react if someone went up to me like that, and it's usually a negative thing, though it's probably just me.

 

Any thoughts on this? People just going up to you in the hallway to say hi lol.. It just seems like it'd be kind of weird.

 

(I love how you've both got 'knight' in your name too..)

[Knight of Hope]

If she's waiting for a hello from you, awkward is definitely okay. But if she's not waiting for you to say hello, the worst that could happen is that she'd think you were weird and not talk to you. But is she talking to you all that much now, anyway? Not a huge difference, really. You don't have a lot to lose, especially with graduation fast approaching.