I've Arrived (for real this time)

[mrvaughn]

I posted a week or so ago on how I was finally over it.

 

But, I also posted about how a couple of days ago I bumped into her. When I initally posted that I was over it...It was because I didn't have a choice BUT to get over it.

 

Now, after meeting her, talking, and getting the things off my chest that I needed to, I KNOW that it was my closure and that I don't care about her at all.

 

Because of all the NC, I couldn't completely take in all of the obvious reasons that she is a toxic individual. I had built her up sooo much in my head that I didn't want to accept or see that they were true.

 

When I met her again I could see the deception behind her eyes for the first time...mainly because I took off my rose tinted glasses & actually had a long hard look at her. I could tell she was lying about things...new dramas she has fabricated.

 

After knowing the truth about all her lies & because she isn't who I thought she was, I also realised that I wasn't attracted to her like before. I had built that up too.

 

I said in my last topic that I remember, at first, thinking she didn't have nice legs. Then after getting to know each other, her legs were what I liked most about her physically. The other day she was wearing 3/4 lenghths & I took a look and thought "oh, you changed back into your old legs then?" lol

 

I can finally say "I don't want her". If you have read my other posts (of which I know there have been a few, lol) then you can see that she is a dangerous person & very manipulative, untrustworthy, selfish, immature, innapropriate/disloyal, a possible thief and certainly has some serious mental health issues.

 

The main thing out of the list, as far as i'm concerned, is trust. I don't trust her (would you, lol), and don't want her around my family and friends.

 

Never thought i'd get to this point. If you'd told me I would 10 weeks ago, i'd have laughed (or cried, lol).

 

She said she wants to be friends again "and see what happens", I did say OK & shouldn't have, but better that than having someone so unhinged as an enemy. Maybe it'll serve her right to see my apathy towards her if the topic of 'us' ever comes out of her mouth again. If it does, it'll probably be bcoz she wants more attention...she won't get any

 

Heart healed....lessons learned....happiness restored.... \\

 

 

I'll be staying on the forum to repay the kind words & support shown to me over the last few months. Thanks Guys!!! =D>

[starlight40]

Wow! Thats great, good for you! Onwards and upwards to a happy future!x

[coolchick64]

ten weeks, huh? good, I only have 4 more to go : ) hope I do as well as you---I'm happy for you!

[mrvaughn]

Thanks. It's a relief to wake up each morning & not think about her straight away, or if I do it's without any anxiety...just a sense of 'thank goodness'.

 

I know that NC is usually the way to go, but in my case, seeing and speaking to her destroyed the picture of her i had 'built up' in my head.

 

As i've said before, I'm glad it all happened. I learned a lot of lessons from this. I just hope I find someone else. 25 years old & never had a gf...Starting to get a bit worried, lol. Think one of the reasons I wanted her is that we had a relationship already established & it was comfortable coz we both knew we liked each other.

 

I know it's in me to be more confident, but i'm rubbish at approaching a girl I like and starting a conversation. I'm out tonight, so maybe i'll give it a bash