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Update..Need Thoughts on Situation


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About a month ago, my girlfriend and I broke up. It wasn't bitter, it was really that after pushing for 2 1/2 years, we just weren't right for each other. I came here and received some insightful comments.


The original thread is here:


The thing that got me was she really wanted nothing to do with me anymore and that is what hurt me the most.


It's been about 3 weeks and I am moving on. I still wonder how she is doing and think about her often as she was my best friend but I have accepted the situation.


So after 3 weeks of NC, I received a text today from her asking how I've been. I respond that I am doing well and we then exchange a few texts on how our families are doing. Unfortunately, her family is experiencing a difficult time with her grandmother. I express that if she or her family need anything, please ask. She says the same but throws in "You know that I'm always there for you." That made me feel good so I write back that it is nice to hear that and no matter what I will always be there for her as well. She quickly responds "Ok, keep in touch."


So now my head is running in a million directions. How do I take this whole thing? I'm sure I am overanalyzing the situation and she is just trying to be friendly. But, obviously she is thinking about me which makes me feel good. However, I can't help but think that I let my guard down by telling her that it was nice to hear her sentiments and I would be there for her as well. She was very quick to wrap up the text chat after that. Although she opened door and dangled the bait.


I'm not looking to get back together but in the end I want us to be friendly. I truly miss her.


So what does everyone think? How do I take this whole exchange?

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Just take it one day at a time, don't sit and analyze this one occurrence. Instead maybe look forward to the next time you speak. Go with the flow. We never know what the next day holds..so why spend time worrying about it. Whether a friendship or back together .. whats meant to be will be.

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Thanks for replying, everyone. I definitely am not trying to overanalyze the situation now. It is nothing more than a friendship at this point. It was nice hearing from her and that invoked many emotions.


Actually, after I started this thread she texted me back that she hopes I do keep in touch as she did today. I replied that I honestly did not think she wanted to talk to me anymore as that was how she left things. She replied that she doesn't want me to think that and that she misses talking to me and hopes we can be friends. I told her I would like that and she agreed. That is how we left it.


Like I said, it was nice to hear from her. This is what I wanted, to be friends, but after 2 1/2 years, many other feelings rushed back. I know this took a lot for her to do and it is nice to know she cares and is thinking of me. As I said before, when we ended things, it wasn't nasty but she seemed like she wanted nothing to do with me anymore. That is what bothered me the most. I will keep in touch but remain cautious. As SimplyTorn said, take it one day at a time, go with the flow and what is meant to be, will be.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Update to the update...


After initially hearing from her, I did indeed get excited even going as far as considering to ask her to get together that following weekend but I resisted. And as the days passed, I slowly lost interest in keeping in touch. I seemed to get that closure that I needed which was that she actually cared. I kept telling myself I'll text her this day and that day would pass. I still thought about her just as much but I was content with the situation. All the while, I was enjoying myself and my freedom. I even reconnected with an old friend who I once had a small romantic relationship with when we were younger. We have shared some nice moments and I hope we can have a great friendship, maybe even more. She adores me and we have always gotten along so well. It felt so nice to be with her and I think she is such a great person. But she seriously wants something and I have to remain cautious for both our sakes.


That being said, it's been two weeks since my ex contacted me. I woke up this morning, again saying that I was going to be nice and text her hello eventually losing interest as the day went on. But she beat me to it, texting me asking how things have been. The subsequent texts were pretty much an update on things from last time. She was being very cordial as was I. As I had to meet a friend for a movie, I wrapped things up by saying "It was nice to hear from you. Until next time..." I got no response back which I thought was odd as she usually replies to say goodbye unless she is mad at me. That was hours ago.


I know the ball was in my court to keep in touch which I planned to do but my life is moving in new directions. I do like hearing from her and this gets me a bit confused as to what she is really thinking. I'm probably overanalyzing this once again. I can hardly ever rationalize my own situation.


Any comments are much appreciated.

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I think its very good that you've started feeling that you're enjoying your freedom, and that you had that encounter with your other romantic friend from the past, which made you feel good. I hope you do more of that, and celebrate your freedom, because I feel it'd be much much better for you than spending much time thinking of your ex g/f. Go forward, not back, I say!

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