Has anyone been in a 9 year relationship that ended?

[Faithfully]

Has anyone been in a relationship for 9 years since they were like 14 and ended their engagement of one year?? Why did you break up and if it was out of boredom, was it worth breaking it up to experience dating and the single life?

 

I am in that situation right now where I am bored but care about him deeply...I need some insight!!( Oh yeah I am in my early twenties.)

[Hope75]

I wasn't in exactly that situation but I was in a 5 year relationship that started at age 17 and ended at 23, and we were engaged and living together for much of that time.

 

I broke it off because he was an alcoholic and drug addict who was physically abusive and for a long time I thought I could save him, and then I realized that I was growing and changing and he was not, and I could not save him, so I left.

 

If you love him but are bored, what can you do to spice things up?

 

What are you bored with? Are you both growing and changing together, or are you growing apart with different life goals?

[LazyDaisy]

I dated someone from around 18 to 30. Probably the last 5 years I was with him I didn't want to be because I wasn't "in love" with him any longer. But I stayed because he wanted me to, and because I was afraid to be without him. I regret staying. Now i'm 41 and totally in love with my current BF. I want to grow old with him. Obviously the other one wasn't the right one for me.

 

Try to figure out why you are bored and if there are things you could do to change that. If not, don't stay with someone who isn't the right one just because you feel obligated or because you fear the dating scene. The single life can be really tough sometimes, but staying with the wrong person for the wrong reasons can also be tough.

[WomanWriter]

Boredom is a natural part of life and relationships...it's a phase...if you work on finding new things to do, the boredom will eventually subside.

 

The question is: Do you love him? If you do, I don't think it's worth breaking up over simple boredom. If you don't love him, will the spicing it up solve that problem?

[Vet]

Has anyone been in a relationship for 9 years since they were like 14 and ended their engagement of one year?? Why did you break up and if it was out of boredom, was it worth breaking it up to experience dating and the single life?

 

I am in that situation right now where I am bored but care about him deeply...I need some insight!!( Oh yeah I am in my early twenties.)

 

Am I right in suspecting that you've never dated anyone else as an adult? If so, you should do yourself the biggest favor you can and end this relationship. Be honest with the reasons for doing so. You cannot be with one person, especially at such a young age, and live a fulfilled life. You will always wonder what else was out there that you missed out on, even if you had the best possible relationship. Maybe this guy really is the person you're supposed to be with, but you both deserve it to yourselves to see if that's actually true. Do it today. Do not marry him right now.

[Scaredy-Cat]

I totally disagree with Vet. I know couples who have been together for years and only ever been with each other. One met at 15/16 and are married (aged 30 now). They have not missed out on life simply by finding their life partner early on. Good for them, I say.

 

Anyway, I am currently in the situation of 7 years together (engaged) and are on the brink of breaking up. It's horrible, so as I'm in such a bad place, I can't advise as to whether it is the right thing for you to do or not, but if it is simply a boredom thing, then try to bring the sparkle back a bit. I'm sure that you will not be the only one who appreciates it!

[Vet]

I totally disagree with Vet. I know couples who have been together for years and only ever been with each other. One met at 15/16 and are married (aged 30 now). They have not missed out on life simply by finding their life partner early on. Good for them, I say.

 

Get back to me in ten years.

[metwo]

listen... your bored.. you've been in a 9 year relationship and your only 23 years old... if your bored now..what happens when you get older and want to experience life more? maybe its time to get out now, so that you can come away from it still feeling good about one another... rather than resenting him and him resenting you for wasting time together...