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Useful quote from 'Silent Power'; Stuart Wild


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Wild: ‘When you lean psychologically or emotionally toward people, it is a sure sign of insecurity. It makes others feel uncomfortable They resent the way you’re leaning on them and will react by denying you. They don’t like your self-indulgence and your insecurity reminds them of their own vulnerability. It rattles them. Animosity builds. Consciously and subliminally, they sense the weakness your leaning creates, it robs them of energy and crowds them. They have to buy into your needs and emotions when they would prefer to concentrate on their own. They don’t like the imposition and they often react negatively, even if they don’t say so. Alternatively, they accept the imposition of your ways, but then feel they can take advantage of you emotionally, sexually or financially. They will feel empowered to use you, or deprecate you, or discredit you, in some way. Remember, when your energy touches others, they subliminally know if you are weak or strong. It effects how they see you. Thus an important first step in silent power is don’t lean. It’s obvious but most don’t know it. When you are frantic for people, your needs have an air of desperation. They weaken you and push things away from you. Have you ever had a romantic relationship where the other person was all over you like a hot rash, desperate for you? What did you do? Probably for the first few days you enjoyed the attention but on day 3 you gave this person a hard time and you started to toe them around by the nose. You enjoyed that for a bit but eventually their insecurity or desperation bugged you and soon you tossed this person out. When you are in love and crave someone, and this individual keeps his or her distance or retreats from you, then your desire increases. If this person advances to far forward then your desire lessens, or may dissipate completely. When you’re desperate for a deal and lean into it, you push it away or you wind up paying more. It’s called wanting it tax. Before every deal take a moment in the hallway and remind yourself you don’t need it. If you don’t get it, it doesn’t bother you. If you do get it, it will be under your terms and you won’t pay too much’.

 

‘Their power is your perception of their power’ Jerry Spence. No one has any power that you do not permit them to have, you must always give it to them. If you give it away, you will never garner any respect.

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Thank you for those words.

 

‘Their power is your perception of their power’ Jerry Spence. No one has any power that you do not permit them to have, you must always give it to them. If you give it away, you will never garner any respect.

 

So true. I give him the power.. and I have to STOP. He's not better than me and he's not higher than me, yet I perceive him as so.

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I totally agree with this. I have always believed that when you display an obsessively deep desire to be with a person, the greater the chances are, of being pushed away.

 

There is a thread here on ENA, called "Use Absence to Increase Desire and Respect". It pretty much sums up what this author is saying. It is always good, to show people on a whole, that you do not need them in order to survive. It shows a great level of independence and strength and it earns you tons of respect in the end.

 

Desperation is never pretty.

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