Should i give up searching? But there is someone...

[kamui]

Hi people,

 

For so long now i have been trying to get a gf, i sometimes wonder if im trying to hard (probably am). I'm 20 and i haven't even had a proper gf and i hate myself or even kissed properly (im way behind, im so sad ). I sometimes think that i set my standards to high when looking for a gf, i mean i have lots of girl friends. When i see a girl that i like, it's kind of hard to explain it's as if i know exactly what sort of personality they'll have i don't even have to speak to them. It's been a bit of a habit of mine, also i have been thinking whether this has been stopping me getting a gf. There is a girl that im intrested in at college, but college is closed and im not going to see her now for a couple of weeks. She knows my name and we have spoken a few times and i really do like her, she seems to fit everything that im looking for. I'm not the best when it comes to talking with girls, especially when i like them. It's just trying to find an excuse that isn't lame and obvious what i want, it's kind of hard. Then comes the other problem keep a conversation going, i know that you can do this by trying to show an intrest in what she likes but my confidence isn't exactly high, how do i boost myself?

 

Can anyone offer any adivce or help, i would appreciate it.

 

Thank you,

 

-[ kamui ]-

[mahlina]

Okay,

 

So, now that you have a few weeks before you can see her again, work on your confidence in the meantime! Work out! Run! Exercise! Do whatever you can, to build up your endurance! I'm serious. Put yourself through your own, "Boot Camp, Training Program..."

 

I know this might sound silly, but just take a look in the mirror, and tell yourself, "Hey, I'll work up my charm!" Yeah, do that! You're not being obnoxious by doing so, but trying to limit your nervousness when you do approach her. Just look in the mirror, and say, "Yes! I'm Mister G.Q., and we will get to know each other..."

 

Then, work yourself in taking care of your physique. Get a haircut. Shave your hair. I don't know about looking like Mr. Clean, and taking the whole thing off, but maybe give it a try! Do a different look.

 

I guess your personal training should be:

 

1. Physical Acitivity

2. Mental Endurance- Build up those I can, and I will words!

3. Makeover- a new and improved you.

4. Buy new shoes ( Not too many, just one. I'm serious though. Sometimes if you buy new shoes, you'll feel more professional and confident. I don't know, but it does wonders for me!!! )

 

Consistently tell yourself that you are worth it! Reflect on your own personality. Bring out your own whit and charm. Once you came back as a new, and 'improved' you, she might take a second look, and check you out!

 

Take Care!

Mahlina

 

P.S.-It's all about Confidence, not just the looks!!! Good Luck!

 

P.S.S.- I agree with the bottom poster! That's sooo true. If you look, then you will often fail. Love occurs naturally. So, don't try to force it. However, she does know you, and she does know your name, and who you are. So, it's not like you're trying to pick up a COMPLETE stranger. I still see that there could be a chance. Perhaps, she's shy herself too! Sometimes it's frustating when 2 people are shy, because that relationship usually ends up going nowhere. So just give it a shot! At least you know that you tried! Don't do things that you'll regret. There's nothing to lose. Besides, you think that she exhibits a ton of qualities that you're looking for. If you're picky, and she's one in a million, then I wouldn't give up the fight! Just my 2 cents worth! O

[SLBG]

If you go out looking for somebody you will fail.

 

From past experiences things will happen when you least expect it. Go out, enjoy ur self, you will meet somebody when u least expect it.

 

good luck

 

 

slbg

[woopsydaisy]

Hey ..i know what you mean and i can relate to what you said about setting your standards to high.Im very picky myself.And surprise surprise im single!!.But the way i see it i dont want to settle for second best.I want to be happy with the girl i am with, but deep down i know there is no perfect girl just as i am no perfect man.

 

As for girls... i get along with girls fine more than blokes actually ( and im not gay!!).i just talk to them and just be myself...i try to find some common ground, if they arnt intrested i just see it as their loss.In the past thats helped me develope more deeper relationships with girls...if things happen then great.if they dont well?...so what.

 

So i would just play it cool with this girl, just be yourself and dont rush things.If she can see you want to be more than friends with her to soon... it will just scare her off.

 

I know this is not want to hear and your lucking for more clear answers...but gradually you will become more confident with girls the more you talk to them .And with a bit of luck something might just happen.

 

You will come good just try and believe in yourself...dont hate yourself.... please .

[whitefang]

Hi kamui,

 

If i were you i'd pour all my consentration into this girl and your better off letting that other one go, she no good for you. As far as boosting yourself goes i think that what mahlina has said i think that a good way to build confidence go out and work out.

 

All good things come to those who wait...

 

- whitefang