Should I Lay Down the Law and Say NO?!

[routerx]

My girlfriend tends to keep more male friends than female friends. I don't mind this at all.. except.. one thing that has been bothering me.

Last evening she stated that she would like me to meet one of her friends so he could "give his approval" of me. This is a 50 year old friend that she talks to about once a month. He wants to take us out to dinner.

 

My first reaction is to tell the guy to take a flying leap. Who does he think he is?

 

My second reaction is to tell my girlfriend she is disrespecting our relationship by placing the opinion of someone other than family as a stepping stone in our success.

 

Finally, this is the same guy who gave her a "Love Story" DVD about 2 weeks ago and she is naive enough not to assume it was an affectionate gift, but this guy, in my opinion may have a goal of trying to undermine our relationship.

 

But, if it's important to my girlfriend that I meet this guy, then it should be important to me as well??!!! Not sure. Need advice.

[TMA68]

8)

[MollyElise]

Hey Routerx!

 

First off please disregard what TMA said, you and I both know that is not the situation with your lady. Secondly, I have friends who try to look out for me. And I can picture one of them saying that to me. I think you need to meet this guy, and then assess the situation. I think that you should trust your GF enough to believe that she is not being naive, that this man has no other interest in her. UNLESS something at this dinner clues you otherwise, which is why you should want to go meet this guy. Very likely he could be a nice older man who is concerned for her, and knows how sweet she is and just wants her to get what she deserves.

 

I guess at the bottom of this is trust in yourself, Joy, and your relationship that whatever this "friend" is trying to do will only bring you two closer together.

[sphinx999]

I would meet this guy coem off it it is a free meal, also if she was more than mates with one of these gentlemen it would not be likely that she would introduce them to you.

[TMA68]

8)

[sphinx999]

Well we don't know but I have just learnt to trust people and things turn out for the best. If you get paranoid it only makes your life misery, not theirs.

[MollyElise]

TMA I do know that her personality, lifestyle, morals, beliefs and values all go against cheating. I know that her choices up to this point have supported what she claims to be. AND I know that Routerx doesn't need that thought floating around, all it would cause is negativity.

 

She deserves his trust, she has done nothing to compromise it.

[ForAnother]

Hmm, this guy is odd. Sounds like a freak show. Now you say he is 50 yrs old and a friend of hers.... odd. I would let a friend know, and ask him to bail you out if you have to. But I would go to the dinner, be as kind as you can. If you find it very uncomfortable then I would probably let her know at the end of the meal. I dunno, sounds very very scary/strange to me.

 

ForAnother

[routerx]

Thanks for the advice.

 

No.. I know.. she's definitely not cheating. Also, I trust her so that thought never was in my mind.. still isn't.

 

My concern was not her but the guy. My gf tends not to notice when guys dig her.. so the DVD thing may have just been a nice gift to her.. but to him (the giver) it may have been his way of .. you know.. trying to open up her heart to him. The dinner.. maybe a way of his opportunity to shoot me down in person or later behind my back.

 

Anyway.. I'm going to meet the guy with an open mind. If it means a lot to her.. then I need to respect that.

 

I'm thinking about asking her, "Joy, is it possible this guy likes you? thereforeeee, is it possible he won't give you his approval of me to try to remove the competition?"

[vfunkera]

Have you not seen countless times with your own eyes people cheating on their significant others with individuals they claim to be "friends"? I know I have.

 

On a side note I know i have as well, but i think saying that this girl is cheating is a bit extreme. ForAnother said it for me, I think you should go to the dinner invitation and meet this guy without any anger or emotions, see what he has to say and why your girlfriend is friends with him and him being so 'concerned'. After all like you said if hes important to her, then hes important to you.

 

Then i think you should talk with your girlfriend because if you don't the trust factor and relationship could start to take a rocky road as this drags along routerx, and that is the last thing you want with her.

 

Good luck