Bipolar girl and dealing with issues

[losthighway]

So I've been seeing this girl for a few weeks now. I may as well get over the rough part, I have herpes. Before we did anything at all, I told her. I'm an honest person and couldn't risk infecting someone without them being prepared. Well, she had been hurting and went to get it checked out today, and she's been infected.

 

My problem is that she's very emotional (due to the bipolar), and has, within the past few days, been redirecting a lot on to me. I've got a lot going on, and while I care about this girl a lot, I'm concerned about how long I can keep coping with being the target of her episodes. I'm a patient and understanding guy...and when I realized how deep some of her things went, I was worried about even asking her to make the decision to take the risk to be with someone who had herpes knowingly.

 

Now she has it...she called me after her appointment, and told me she'd call me when she got home. I really don't know how to handle this situation, and have never historically needed to post about this kind of stuff, but I'm totally at a loss on how to deal with this.

[SoSick]

Oh wow....well I commend you on letting her know you did have herpes before doing anything at all. That takes a lot courage and honesty. I know that she has to be upset because she contracted herpes, but she knew the risk beforehand. Just try to be patient with her, she's probably just really upset. Is she on any kind of medication?

[losthighway]

Oh wow....well I commend you on letting her know you did have herpes before doing anything at all. That takes a lot courage and honesty. I know that she has to be upset because she contracted herpes, but she knew the risk beforehand. Just try to be patient with her, she's probably just really upset. Is she on any kind of medication?

 

Yeah, she is. I called her and she was already home...she told me that she felt like her life was over...I tried to talk to her but she said I wasn't helping anything and just making it worse, and then said bye and all but hung up on me.

 

I just feel like I should've waited longer now. I have no idea how to get a grip of on this situation. I think if this doesn't work out, I won't date anybody who isn't infected from here on out. I can't cope with this sort of guilt. It's totally eating away at me.

[SoSick]

Yeah, she is. I called her and she was already home...she told me that she felt like her life was over...I tried to talk to her but she said I wasn't helping anything and just making it worse, and then said bye and all but hung up on me.

 

I just feel like I should've waited longer now. I have no idea how to get a grip of on this situation. I think if this doesn't work out, I won't date anybody who isn't infected from here on out. I can't cope with this sort of guilt. It's totally eating away at me.

 

 

One of my cousins has herpes, and once she found out, she freaked out. She thought it was the end of her life, she didn't ever want to have sex with anyone who wasn't infected, ect. ect. But after she thought about it, and after some SERIOUS talking to (from me and family) she came to her sense that it won't kill her to have herpes. It's a common disease(not saying that makes it any better!) and once she knew that, she felt a LOT better. I think your gf might have some resentment bc she got herpes, but once she realizes that she will be alright and can still lead a normal life, she should be fine. Just give her some time for it to register in her mind. Let her know that you are here for her if she has any questions and if she wants to talk.

 

I think that even if you had waited longer, something still could have happened. It's great that you told her ahead of time, and gave her a choice on whether or not she wanted to take that risk. Don't beat yourself up over it, because you did your part on letting her know. I'm assuming you guys used protection? If you think that you would be more comfortable with dealing with people that only have herpes, I say go for it. You wouldn't feel guilty or have to worry too much you know? Whatever you decide, I say let her know you are there for her.