Is the friendship unequal? URGENT REPLIES NEEDED

[jnk260]

This seems so stupid, but as it's gotten me so upset it really can't be that stupid. I have my final year ball approaching in July and by the end of the week the table arrangements have to be in. I was trying to organise a table and ask one of closest friends if she wanted to be included. She had already been asked by someone else and had said yes to them, so she told me probably not. I then asked four other good friends if they wanted to arrange a table and find some other people as the tables are for ten. They all said yes.

 

Now today, trying to finalise the arrangements. I had nine people who had all said yes. I went to find my closest friends to check if she didn't want to join us, and she again said no as she was organising a table with some other people. I told her who was also on the table to see if she wouldn't change her mind. When I listed them, she then told me that four of them were on her table. And she had the list ready. This really hurt me, because I include her in things as a matter of course, simply to give her the opportunity to have first refusal (I know that she will probably refuse as she is busy), but she almost never includes me as a matter of course. Am I wrong for doing this, or am I just being irrational? I also feel hurt that the other good friends of mine didn't even tell me what they were doing. I have no idea how to approach her or any of them.

 

I aso have an obligation to the remaining four members of my table as I don't want to do the same to them. I know I need to approach her about it, but I have no idea how. I'm afraid she'll just fob me off or tell me I'm being stupid. Do think more highly of my friendships than they do? I only want to go to the damn ball so I don't regret not going, and I want to go with the people I thought were my friends so I could have a good time, but I've been left out on a limb and I really Don't know what to do? Please offer me advice. I've shed enough tears already.

[walkinginshadows]

Good friends can be far and few. The ones you can really depend on are rare. I have found close friends, that know how to give back as well as receive.

I would end up in similar situations and feel frustrated and very disappointed.

I had to learn that most of the time I had to be my own best friend. I knew I could count on myself.

I would also confront a friend that I had this problem with. I didn't apoach them with anger I just wanted to know if there was something that they felt I needed to understand about our friendship and hoped they would be honest.

I guess what really hurts about thees situations is the feeling they don't think I am good enough to stand with. or thats how I felt.

I learned to be friends with certain people I had to recognize the limits as friends and learned not to put my hopes were they could not be fofilled.

I also started looking for people that would have the same understanding about friendship as I and they would be honest with me up front.

The best thing I learned was how to be my own best friend. learned how I could understand which friends could help me with which situation I had to deal with. Sometimes having friends you need to know there limits in a friendship. So you know where you can be your own friend were they fall short. It helped me not to be so hurt, there were still time it hurts, but not devastated. Good luck hope this can help a little.

[sphinx999]

But didn't those four friends say they would go with you? ask them their selves you deserve an answer. If they are going with her just have fun with the other four and make them miss you.

[just_smile]

hey

i would just leave her now, if she has already going with some other people then i doubt that she'll change her mind, but i would confront your other friends, id ask them why they lied to you.

 

here a saying i always remember

"true friends are like diamonds, precious but rare, false friends are like autumn leaves found everywhere"

 

another idea though: couldnt you just go all together, isnt there a table big enough for you all?

 

have a good time in July

just_smile =;