Feeling guilty

[ATLstudent]

SO I ended it cause she was really shady, and being intentinally unavailable and hurting me. I then said lets try friendship, then i said i cant do it, she said well u cant have had feelings if you cant be my friends, basically not letting me make the call to not be her friend. SO anyway after i said whatever, we dont talk for three weeks, then she texts, hey hows it goin, i dont respond, then ...no answer?, i still havent responded. I feel bad though, i dont really want this chick in my life, she made me feel like crap, and dont want to feel that way again....but i feel bad for just pulling NC, without an official talk, although according to her we were just friends the last time we talked. I dont know what she wants out of me. She needs someone to keep abusing i guess, im not gonna be a punching bag, but do i owe this person a response.

TO be honest im turning my imperfections into my weapons and just cutting it off, a little f u, with alot of ending it for good. But i dont want to hurt this person, but the person i came to know wasnt someone who would hurt for me, just get angry, she doesnt feel anything but lust or anger toward me, it felt like.

[l9grl]

but do i owe this person a response.

 

no - she chose to mistreat you, you owe her nothing, all bets are off

 

you owe it to yourself to keep yourself away from harmful people - protect your well-being and your own feelings

 

think of it this way, if you do NC maybe she'll learn that she cannot keep treating people like crap if she actually wants them to stay in her life

[jettison]

This is a tough spot. I just got dumped by someone as well. However, I entered into something with a friend so it's doubly hard because she can always fall back on "... but we're friends". It's like this ace card that she keeps throwing on the table like she's got 7 aces in her hand.

 

In the end though, if someone is a jerk toward you romantically then the ONLY behavior that gets respected long term is your ability to walk away from that situation because you weren't being treated right. No one can ever have any respect for someone that would willing let themselves be treated poorly. It screams, "I'm not worth anymore then this ."

 

Also, don't spell this out for her. Just walk. Don't feel guilty. If there were any guilt then it should fall on the shoulders of the person who was treating you bad. Always remember that, and don't be manipulated into believing anything else.

[_amani_36]

What did she do? Like how did she treat you bad??

 

I think you should talk to her about the problem, about how she has been treating you...If you really feel like you do not want to be with her anymore then tell her its over...But I'm telling you, me and my bf just broke up..and he wont talk to me anymore, and its killing me...NC is the worst thing when you are the one being ignored...=(

[ATLstudent]

Yeah, and she never really did much to me upfront, and i wasnt good about standing up and calling it out at the time, so i dont really know what she thinks. All i know is that she was really shady, and would ignore me for periods of time. I dont know she was on a different level than me, hope NC isnt out of nowhere for her, but i know she is suprised.