What do women like?

[Clou51585]

Ok, to start off, this is out of curiosity, and any "facts" i try to throw out there could easily be wrong because i've never had a girlfriend (hopefully that will change soon...very soon).

 

I am interested in hearing women's perspectives on the whole idea of the man being dominant and "in charge" in bed. I've heard on these boards that a lot of women seem to like the guy taking charge and doing whatever he wants. I would like to know if women don't like the idea of being more equal?

 

I may be worried because while i am a guy and very interested in sex, i feel like from what i've heard i'm a lot different from other guys. I like cuddling a lot, and being gentle, but would girls not like this? - would they want me to just be after the *** and do what i want with them and once i'm satisfied, if they're not staisfied also then that's too bad.

 

It seems sometimes as if you (as a man) are a wimp if the girl is on top a few times, or you care about giving her an orgasm more than yourself (hell, for a guy it's not hard at all to blow the load). This kind of goes along with the "Why nice guys finish last with girls" thread on another forum. It seems like you're mistaken for a wuss if you want to make your girlfriend happy, and do nice things for her -- you're pussywhipped.

 

Basically, would women have a problem with mixing it up so as to bring the man/woman relationship closer to being equals. Like one night the sex is slower, gentler, and more intimate and another it's more animalistic (i.e. hormones raging, faster paced)...another night woman is on top, the next man is....etc. Would you (as girls) think the guy is a pushover if he was into cuddling and being really soft/gentle? I can really get into both gentle and a bit rougher (not excessively rough..i mean relatively), but is it a turn off to be almost more feminine? I know a lot of women say they want a sensitive caring guy, but it seems from some posts that they still truly want that big over-masculine guy to run in, bang them, and then not care about them.

 

If you have any questions on what i mean, or want me to clarify, let me know. The post isn't greatly organized and it's entirely possible that i didn't express myself clearly. Also, although replies from guys are ok, i'm really looking for replies from women, because they have first-hand knowledge.

[Nifty_Swifty1]

This is just from what I've seen, but what gets a girl's attention is that aggressive jack asses, but what keeps them around for the long term is exactly what you said switching things up. Being aggressive when the time is right, and being sweet when the time is right. Women complain about how horrible men are because they go after scum time after time because they appeal to their hormones. Women find themselves unsatisfied in marriage and longer relationships because these guys that appeal to their hormones don't appeal to who they actually are. It's the paradox of the female psyche.

[mellowchild]

it's important for the guy and girl to communicate on this level of intimacy. NOT all girls like the guy in charge. I for one, agree with equality, but in this case the definition varies. I really like cuddling, the advantage cuddling has over sex is because it shows the guy cares for the girl and respects her. Guys who just want sex and leave is a super turn off. It's important for the guy and the girl to try and satisfy one another.

 

Just because a girl is on top doesn't mean the guy's a wimp. She may just be a lil fun and aggressive. Not one partner should do all the work. If my boyfriend doesn't care about my happiness then "goodbye". If he does care it doesn't mean he's "pussywhipped"

 

We do want a sensitive guy but it varies with each women's preference.

 

good luck.

[Purple53]

I'm 26 and have been with guys that are just interested in themselves. Very few think about satisfying the other person. I was in a 2 1/2 relationship where I was on top most of the time so I don't think it makes a man a wimp. I personally like to switch up and as much as I want to please my man, I want him to please me too. The trick is figuring what mood your partner is in. Is she caressing you and nibbling (she wants to cuddle) or is she biting and using her strength (she wants to be aggressive). As a guy, learn how to read your partner, the signs are there, you just have to pay attention to them. If your still not sure, ask her. Hopefully, your comfortable and she's comfortable talking about it. The last you want is to leave her unsatisfied. Don't be afraid to ask her, she may be shy to give you an answer but at least she knows you care.

[humanoidcontent]

I'm a man and a virgin, so I DON"T KNOW, but I'm like you, so...I hope

 

0X

[buffalosoldier]

Hello there!!

 

I think Nifty had it spot on actually,it is quite a sad fact that alot of women go for what we later know them as ''jerks''. Its not that we go out and say ''i know what il do today,il go and find myself a big a-hole that can be really nasty to me''.Its just are hormones lads we grow out of it.

 

I think equality is important in the bedroom, but i personally get the most pleasure from seeing that i have made someone else feel good. Sex to me is far more in my mind than body.(Hope that makes sense)! So usually i am the one that takes control.grrr...

 

But yes there definitely has to be cuddles afterwards,i will not have a scrooge who wont give me cuddles lol. The main thing is, you are not a ''wimp'' you are being what is known as a ''man'' if you ask me, there is nothing wrong with giving your woman pleasure and shouting it from the rooftops if you so wish!!

 

Hope i helped!