he loves me and yet he doesnt want me

[meeso]

my story is quite complicating so u got to bare with me for a while...ive posted something quite a while ago.....me and my boyfriend have tried to work thingsout and managed to keep the realtionship goin for a year and month now...but things got out of hand and a lot has happened between us. i met this other guy while we the realtionship was in a break and became good friends with this guy we used to talk once in a week and msg each other just the same....i told my boyfriend that he liked me and all that and he was sort of pissed off but then things went ok after that...not for long though...around 2 weeks ago he read the msgs on my phone and thought that i was cheatin on him with that guy i tried explainin that i didnt and i did everything to convince him but he wouldnt get it i mean he cheated on me more than once and i didnt say anything and i stayed with him....durin the last week i got into a fight with my parents and i was really close to leavin the country so i called him cryin and i told him what was goin to happen he started cryin and told me how much he loved me and that we will always be together..no matter what happened...now i know that i was mistaken by talkin to that guy and all that....i love my boyfriend well my ex now i love him so much and i dont know what to do without him.....a couple of days later he told me that he doesnt want to be with me anymore....

its been a week now and he hasnt said a word to me he doesnt want to talk to me at all...and never wants to be with me...he actually made me promise his dad that i wont call him anymore or talk to him...and now i dont know what to do ...i love this guy so much i really do i know he loves me deep inside i guess and i want him back so bad i mean i feel so heartbroken depressed and empty i feel worthless.....my parents are happy i aint with him anymore but i mean im goin through hell not bein with him...pls help me i love him so much......please help me ....PLEASE........

[uongy]

hey this is a tough situation.

 

i think that you should leave the situation for a while and just chill out for a while.i know this is going to be hard but i believe this is the best you can do until he and you really can calm down and really think properly.

 

he may come round in this non-contact situation.maybe what has happened has caused him to be angry and this may blind his judgement of what has actually occurred.

 

i suggest you call him some time in the future and sort it out then.until then you should just leave it alone.i think he needs some space to think.

 

i understand you love him and want him back.tht is understandable but the best thing to do is give it time and more importantly give him time.

 

hope i have helped.

post again for any progress.

[meeso]

hey thank you for ur advice...but what im worried about is the fact that i might not have enough time to work things out in the future...cause theres a slight possibility that he might leave within the next couple of weeks i know we both need time maybe sort of a break for the relationship but i dont want to lose him during this giving time phase if u know what i mean....its painful living without him and i havent felt this way bout anyone in my life ever before. i really dont want to lose him to anything in this world hes my life life without him isnt worth living....hes not coming to school and im worried i want to call and check on him but im scared. things wont be the same if we get back together i know he wont ever forget that but i mean i also lived with the fact that he cheated on me with other girls and i never said anything i didnt leave him...isnt that enough proof to him that i love him...?!?! no offence but guys sometimes are confusing...

if uve got any other advice please tell me i dont want to lose him to giving the situation time...or by not talkin to him i know he still cares well i guess so ....

please post me as soon as possible...

[uongy]

to be honest,i dont like the fact that he has cheated on you.i dont want to be mean,but doesnt the fact that he has cheated on you hurt at all?can u trust him?

 

but let bygones be bygones.i can totally understand that you miss this guy and that you love him more than life.i totally know what you mean and logic seems to go out of the window.

 

but i want you to see something you may have not sen.a relationship is two people.you may love him but he may not feel the same about you.this will hurt of course but it may be the truth.if he has cheated on you and done this to you,does he love you?

 

maybe he does and has made mistakes.fair enough.

 

the time for space is given so that he can really know what he wants and what he actually feels.i know it kills but try to give him that space to think.maybe call him next week and just see what the situation is.

 

hope ive helped.

any update please post again.

im here to help.

[twinkle87]

get over it ... if he loves u ...he wouldnt have cheated on u in the first place...ur better off without him... it sounds o me like he thinks he posesses you... does he ? are you ok with the fact that ur being posessed ?i mean u sound like a nice person... think about it ? is he worth all that?? what about respect ?

[meeso]

i understand what u guys r saying..yes it does bother me to know he has cheated on me and it does actually hurt but as u said let bygones be bygones....but he did say he was sorry and realised his mistake i hope...now whether he loves me or not im not really sure but he does say he does and does show it most of the time....he is a possessive person and thinks he owns me and no im not ok with that but i accept it and live with it because hes everything for me i dont know what id do without him....he does love me deep down i know it cause his mum even said it to me...but why hes doin this i dont really know im not gonna say that ive been completely honest with him and i wasnt a complete angel either but i did my mistakes and did appologise please help me u guys ive tried pleading but nothing happened

[twinkle87]

i dont know what to tell u .... u said that hes not talking to you and hes leaving in a couple of weeks.. then hes obviously over it...if he felt the same way about you he would have called by now... or at least tried to reach you via someone or in some way.. and pleading wont help u at all... it will just make him think you are desperately in need of him and it will make him stay away from you even more... thats what guys are like.. they hate girls who easily fall for them... they like the ones which are hard to get.. so stay away and if ur meant for each other he will eventualy contact you.. try it and see what happens..

[meeso]

ok so the guy isnt leaving anymore....and the giving him time and space thing is killin me i cant stay in school im cryin like a child every single day ...i cnat not be with him...he went cryin to his friends tellin them that he still loves me and cant live without me but im a b***h!! i dunno what to do u guys please im diein just to talk to him anything im tryin to give him space but i dont want to lose him to the space....

i know im pretty messed up... his friends keep tellin me that he hasnt gotten over u and all that ....but he makes it look like it ....i dunno what to do im gonna go insane at times i just duno wish i would die or something...

any help pls anything

[uongy]

ok i think you need to get together and sit down in a private place.just you and him.sit down and talk.

 

tell him your concerns and feelings and make sure you let him talk to you and tell is side.i think its best because well,u have had conflicting sgnals when you need clarification really.

 

hope it goes well.keep us posted.

[meeso]

hey i think ur right maybe we need to talk but im scared he wouldnt want to or he wouldnt hear me out till i finish. im just worried i wont be able to say what i want to.im just wondering..even if i know what to say i dunno how to start or what to say to him i want to ask him to be my prom date but would that be takin it too far at this time in the situation....

agghhh im scared and confused.

[meeso]

ok i posted earlier......um i couldnt get to sit with him ina private place because we were in school but i got the courage to go upto him and talk to him....when i was goin up to him i looked at him he was lookin down and listening to music and when i stood there for a while tryin to stop myself from shakin like an idiot he was cryin!!...i couldnt believe it so i started shakin even more...he then looked at me and im like listen i need to talk to u if thats ok with u...so he just looked at me for a minute.he got up and was like yeah..i didnt get to talk to him much i didnt get to say what i wanted to ....all i said was that the no contact rule is killin me and i cant live like this so hes like ok i understand hes like ill talk to u more often then when i turned around to say something else..hes like u made a mockery out of my family me and my parents r a joke to u...i was soo close to cryin .... and then im like listen i did a mistake hes like listen to me..u laughed when my father and the head of school where havin a serious talk with u about this situation so im obviously a joke and he walked off.....i couldnt believe it ...so i stood there for a while and looked at him i went up to him again....and then he looked at me smiled at me...and was like whats wrong im like y u smilin at me he then shjowed me something on his phone and his friend came and that was it and i had to leave......

and i came back home cryin like a child....

what can i sum up from this should i go talk to him again?!?!

i mean i want to i have to finish what i wanted to say...

help me pls.and tell me what u think...i mean he was cryin???

[Xandra]

Hey Meeso ....

 

I think there are parts of this story that haven't been said on your part. What is he talking about when he says, "you've made a mockery of my family and I"? What would encourage that kind of comment? Why would he tell his friends that he loves you but that you're a *beep*? I don't get the whole story. YOU are the one who is in the wrong just for receiving text messages from a guy friend? You're ALLOWED to have guy friends. The reason he got jealous and upset about that ... I'm sorry to say ... is because HE'S the one with something to feel guilty about.

 

Don't go down this road. Try to be strong. He's cheated on you more than once and won't contact you now. It's over, and in a few weeks you're going to be glad it is. You're upset now because you're used to his company. You're used to that contact with him, to having this companion. Try to get out more with your friends. Do things on your own.

[meeso]

i have started to go out more with friends but i still feel this emptiness inside...ive been with other guys before but i havent felt this bad after the break up....its been three weeks now and im gonna tear my hair out....

when it comes to the mockery part...we had this serious problem with the school and they got our parents involved...and when they were talkin to me i laughed at something his dad said which i thought was funny to be said in the situation we were in but then i was near to tears the whole meetin and as soo as his dad left i broke down into tears....

maybe ur right i need to move on and all that but i tried so many times to move on and forget him but i couldnt i dont know all i think of is him....i know i sound stupid and all that but i dont want someone else....if u know what i mean....i really love this guy and he told his parents he wanted to marry me....i dont understand i know he loves me but at times he just confuses me!!...pls tell me if i should go to him again and talk to him.....

i need help!! i cant take it anymore i cant take not being with him anymore....my prom is comin up an di want him to be my date..or else i just wont go.....help ppl pls....

[etdoghawk7]

meeso, i kno this situation was a while ago..... but i was just wonderin how ur doin.........since im in the same situation hows it been?