How Do I get rid of the pain

[sporstergrl]

Oh my god I havent eaten in three days, my mind is not with me here at work but obsessing on what he is doing, I feel like I'm drowning here. Any suuggestions

[avman]

Hello sporstergrl and welcome to eNotalone,

 

I'm having a little trouble seeing what it is you would like advice about. Who are you obsessing about and why are you obsessing? Is it a husband? Boyfriend? Ex?

 

Could you provide more information on your situation? That would help us a great deal to give you some better advice.

 

avman

[maylenes]

i know exactely how you feel, its been one month for me...what happened?

[sporstergrl]

Three days ago my boyfriend of 8 months said he felt we should "cool it". I actually agreed with him. He is 16 years older then me, does not want to raise more children(I have 1) and does not want to get married again. I havent asked him to raise my child,I've been doing it alone for 6 years. Nor did I tell him I wanted to remarry. Our relationship also escalated to verbal abuse based on his power nd control issues and jealousy. So when he siad he wanted to cool it but still do things I was actually devastated. I know it is because we were together everyday and just got back from Vegas. I hate being alone! I know he's not good for me and our relationship would probably have gone nowhere. I realize this but am still missing him. For some reason it's painful. The thought of him dating someone else also kills me. What the heck are these feelings all about?

[avman]

Well it sounds like you understand the reasons your relationship would not have worked out.

 

The reason that you feel pain is because you love your ex. That doesn't just disappear because you two broke up. And having love rejected is painful. Its real. It can make you physically sick as well as emotionally hurt.

 

I think maybe you should take a couple of sick days from work. Go ahead, break down, and cry. Let it all out. All the pain, all the hurt. Let it come out. Let out the hurt from having things end, from knowing your dreams with him won't be realized, and the hurt about him seeing somebody else. Its very healthy to cry your way through this.

 

Give yourself permission to feel like garbage for a few days. Call your friends up and ask them to come over and hang out with you so that you aren't alone. Your true friends will understand and they'll be there for you. Breaking up is never fun. You have to give it time and let things sort themselves out.

 

avman

[sporstergrl]

Thanks for the input...I am amazed at the amount of people going through the same thing

[DealingWithIt]

its normal to feel that way...can't eat/sleep, you think about your ex and what he is up to, you picture him being happy with someone else, etc. i know its such a painful experience and in time...it will go away.

[Chrysalis_77]

Oh dear

 

am not sure i can help. Just want to say be tough. I know it's easy to just say "get over it, go and hang out with friends..."

 

I've been there and done that. Took me 1 year to heal the brokenheart.

Just bear with the situation, keep positive...and feel confident with the future