what if they call you during No Contact?

[tmarie]

I successfuly completed 28 days of No Contact when he calls. But, I think he may have called becuase I had sent his son a Valentine. He told me that he had been thinking about me on Valentine's Day and had been missing me. I just said, "Oh, yeah?" He then told me that he was sorry he had not called me in awhile, but he had been giving me some space. (OK - WHO asked for space? He wanted it when he dumped me!) I just said that I had been doing the same thing. He told me that next time I was in town ( he lives 2.5 hours away from me) that I needed to stop by becuase his son wanted to see me. I told him okay, but I don't think I meant it.

 

I talked to his mom a couple of days afterward and she said that he had told her that he called me. She told me that he would probably call me that weekend. She started to tell me what he thought about our conversation when her phone went dead! Oh, dirty pool!

 

I called her back and told her to tell him not to call that I was going to be out of town. I did not want to be sitting at home on the "off chance" that he might actually call.

 

Is it ok to call him? Is my No Contact still in effect or do I have to start over? I have not heard from him since. What should I think about him calling me? Maybe he felt obligated to call since I had sent his son a Valentine, but why did he have to say that he was missing me and thinking about me? Now my head's all screwed up again!

 

Somebody help, please...I feel like I'm sliding backwards!

[avman]

No contact means you do not initiate contact with them. If they contact you, you can begin some light contact. Just go REAL slow and let them set the pace. It is not the time to dump how much you've missed them and that you were dying without them, etc, etc. That will scare them away.

 

Nice and easy. Ok? And GOOD LUCK

 

avman

[tmarie]

I guess some weird twisted part of me was kind of upset when he called. I had my No Contact record going and he spoiled it! Even had my Outlook popping up messages letting me know how many days I had gone with no contact. Goofy, huh? I was feeling strong about not talking to him now my head's all screwy again!

 

Thanks for the advice... at first I was just going to ignore things at not see that he may have been trying to initiate things with me again. He asked me to come see them sometime and I was not going to. To see if he would call and ask again. But, if I do that....what if he takes that as I do not want to talk to him anymore and gives up on me?

 

Since you said light contact would be appropriate, I might try to give him a call. I kinda feel like I may have given out the wrong signals when he told me he had been thinking about and missing me and I did not tell him anything back. Maybe that's why he has not called back? It's so hard to know when to make a move and when I should wait for him to do it.