he is so mean now and indifferent. he was my best friend

[ms anthrope]

 

 

i hate this so much. 5 years ago i met the sweetest guy id ever known. i was dating someone at the time and he is 7.5 years younger than me. he became my best friend and we were for 3 years. he fell in love with me and after a while i fell back in love with him. i was still with my bf though but eventually broke things off with him so that i could be with the one that was my best friend and love. because i knew him so well...i knew he had a lot of problems. he's been suicidal off and on for years. and i was his only true friend for years also. we broke up though because he wanted out....he said he loved me but wasnt in love with me. he suffers from low self esteem also. he told me he cheated on me and cared for another. she was his roommate's gf. she ended up not leaving him her bf but they stayed close friends. ive tried very hard to stay best friends with him....but over the past year...he's become more and more distant. he says he still loves me and cares for me but he wants me out of his life altogether because i need too much for him and that he cant make me happy with who he is now. ive tried moving on with another guy but to keep him as my friend. well he told me two weeks ago he didnt want to know me anymore. he said he needed his space and that maybe in the future...MAAAYBEE we'd talk again. im so devastated. i love him so much. after two weeks i wanted to know how he was doing and if he missed me. i called him and in front of two of his friends (his ex-roommmate and the girl he cheated with) he told me to just go. that he didnt want to fight anymore and that he didnt know if he was going to talk to me but because i wont let him go....he doesnt know how he can. he yelled at me to get on with my life...pretty much do anything but dont include him. it feels like he doesnt care. and im sooo hurt because i still care for him. i told him i hated him and that i wished id never met him and that i never want to hear from him again and slammed the phone down.

 

i cant believe i lost my best friend. no one knew me better. and despite the fact i told him to eff off....i wish he cared enough to not want to go.

 

i wish he cared. he used to love me so much.

 

after a period of time....is it remotely possible he will feel bad and come back?

 

 

[joey1975]

 

I know how you feel because I am going throught the same thing, I am gay and he left me because he said that, he didn't feel attracted to me anymore. He said that he wanted to be alone. I was ok at the beginning of the break-up and then I decided that I need to move out because he was becoming so distant and always going out with his friends and not with me. Its as if I went into last place with him for everything, he just doesn't care anymore about me. He tells me that he cares, but I just don't feel it. We try to be friends for a while and the whole time I wanted him to come back to me and be together again,.... I was lying to myself and to him. Last time we spoke he said, that I never try being his friend and that I just wanted to get back together, and I guess its true, but can you blame me for trying. He was the most special person to me, I really loved him and I still do. Now people tell me that I have to learn how to love myself and how to take care of myself now, but its so hard. Specially when he is already dating someone else. I do wish I was stronger than this, but I am always thinking with my heart, and it hurts too much. I realize I have to do what people say, that I need to go out and meet other people, and not sit at home and cry for him. Now I do wish he was my friend because I only want his happiness, but its too late, I have behaved as a psycho stalker and I feel really sorry for that, the only thing I did was --- push him farther away from me, when I only wanted to give him my love or anything special that was in me. I did something really stupid last time I was at the club and saw him, I just grabbed him and kiss him, right in front of his new BF, I acted on impulse and somehow I thougt it was going to be like a "QUEER AS FOLK" episode in which the music stopped and time stopped and he would snapp and say , I love you too, but that didn't happen, that was all in my head, in my fantasy, the only thing I did was draw him further away from me and closer to his new boyfriend. I do wish him well, and I do wish that he'll be happy, that is all I want now. Because I feel as if someone has taken my best friend, my love, someone very dear and special to me. It just hurts that he is not with me and that he is so angry at me and most likely will never forgive me for the way I have behaved.

 

People tell me that things will be ok, that I will survive, so I say that to you too, we will survive, we will get through this hard times. Hopefully some day we will fall in love again and not give all your heart without giving anything to our own selves. I loved to much, and forgot about me. Good luck . take care.

[ms anthrope]

Thank you Joey. I appreciate the support. I do hope to move on with my life and I hope Im in a better place months from now. It's hard not to be mad at him for just up and leaving me. I feel so abandoned and uncared for. I dont know how i can trust anyone right now as even a close friend. I truly believed no one in the world loved me more and that he was the last person in the world that would hurt me.

 

 

 

I cant believe this is now the reality of it all.

 

ms

[SwingFox]

Hi Ms Anthrope,

 

I am sorry to see that you have been so hurt by him. I cannot understand why human beings do this to each other. I guess this will always be a part of our lives.

 

My words to you are as simple as effective: time will heal your wounds. Yes, eventually you will be able to trust someone again. Bear in mind that if you come accross someone, try to give them a new chance and see them as a different person.

 

I hope this helped you and wish you good luck!

 

~ SwingFox ~

[paingirl]

he sounds like my husband....could he be using a chemical substance such as alchohol or drugs?? Mood changes, personality changes, and cheating usually causes this behavior. He sounds like an MJ addict to me. there is a good site called

link removed

you might want to check it out, shows the symptoms etc.

 

i could be wrong about this, but he sounds unstable and i lived with one long enouph to be able to see it. if it is drug use, he is in a different part of the cycle right now, when he cycles back he'll want you back, but its a bumpy ride and they never stay anywhere permanently because of the cycle. just a suggestion. it just sounds like it to me.