littlestar Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 It's been 4 months since the split with the ex. I went out with a friend last night. We were out driving and i was telling him how much i missed hanging out at the "spot". The "spot" is a place i have been hanging out every single week, and specials occasions for the last 10 years. It's also the place i met the ex and a place we used to spend a LOT of our time together, and "the spot" is the place he has also been hanging out at almost daily for the last 10 years! Since we split ive never been there. I dont want to re live the memories of what we had and i am pretty certain he still goes there and i dont want to risk seeing him so i stay well clear of there. Last night my friend said to me "littlestar it's been 4 months, and you love that spot why not go down there" So with some convincing i decided to go. I drove about 4 streets away from it and the roads and buildings became all to familiar and then something inside me started hurting, i became all emotional and couldnt go any further. I turned the car around and headed in the opposite direction. I feel like absolute crap today. I am an absolute wreck. Why is it i cant go near there without feeling so many emotions? Is this normal? I feel so bad i wish i never went! I can only imagine what it would feel like if i went to the "Exact" spot i always used to hang out at and where we met Link to comment
hereagain Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Yes it is normal. Very normal. I can't drive around the area where my ex lives without starting to remember. Or thinking about things and it's like a great big kick in the guts. My ex lives 2 houses away from my best friends house, so if I want to see my best friend, I am forced to relive those memories. Unfortunately I haven't seen my best friend in a while, but she understands. I don't know how long it will last, but it makes me angry that because of some *%$*&, I now can't go to my friends house without getting upset. I worry that I will see him at the shop, or walking up the street, or filling his motorbike up at the fuel station on the corner, run into his kids.. .etc, etc. Or there is the - I used to drive this street with him every day to work, we used to eat at that pub... its gut wrenching and I hate it. Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 It's totally normal. You were right for not wanting to go. Sometimes it takes you weeks to cope, sometimes months. Whatever it may be, you need to do what's best for you. I'm the same way. I have to completely be sure that I'm over the relationship/person before I can go anywhere that I know will remind me of him. You should avoid these places until you completely feel comfortable & you know you've moved on. It's always gonna hurt, but it hurts 100x when the wound is still fresh. Link to comment
littlestar Posted January 14, 2009 Author Share Posted January 14, 2009 I am glad i am not the only one feeling this way then. Somehow i just know he still goes there so obviously he isnt hurting as much as i am Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 I am glad i am not the only one feeling this way then. Somehow i just know he still goes there so obviously he isnt hurting as much as i am You can't really say that. Everyone copes with things differently--especially guys vs. girls. We tend to handle things more emotionally. When we hear a song, see something, or go somewhere that reminds us of him, it triggers the emotions & thoughts. I think it's generally easier for guys to block it out. They can go out with the boys & just have fun without being distracted by these thoughts, but that doesn't mean that they're completely over it. I believe that males just have better coping mechanisms than girls (OPINION, DON'T ATTACK ME PLEASE Link to comment
littlestar Posted January 14, 2009 Author Share Posted January 14, 2009 You can't really say that. Everyone copes with things differently--especially guys vs. girls. We tend to handle things more emotionally. When we hear a song, see something, or go somewhere that reminds us of him, it triggers the emotions & thoughts. I think it's generally easier for guys to block it out. They can go out with the boys & just have fun without being distracted by these thoughts, but that doesn't mean that they're completely over it. I believe that males just have better coping mechanisms than girls (OPINION, DON'T ATTACK ME PLEASE You might be right there!! I get all emotional when i hear "our song" on the radio and it always comes on at the most inappropriate times. I had the radio on the other day and i had the computer tech here fixing my PC and i was talking to him telling him whats wrong with it and suddenly i went blank coz i heard "our song" on the radio. And the PC guy was like "U ok?" Link to comment
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