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Falling in love with a housemate...help!


tomtommyboy

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I don't know how best to explain my current relationship with a woman in my life. There are so many factors and those are always important in assessing a situation. But I'll just say, we're housemates as of about 4-5 months ago (and had never met before); both I and other housemates (who I'm old friends with) have sensed there's some sort of vibe; and she's 22 and I'm 29, and she's v sceptical about men/relationships at the mo or certainly says she is.

 

She's very beautiful. That's not just in the eye of the beholder; she's done modelling work and everyone says she's beautiful who's met her. She's also very shy, genuinely sweet/nice, and - I sense at least - is suspicious of men, probably because someone as attractive as her has attracted a lot of players. She'd just been dumped by someone for an ex after 5 months when we met, and her latest interest hurt her too (he's now out of the scene as of about 6 weeks ago).

 

Over the last month we've been spending a LOT of time with each other. I've made no hint that I'm interested in any explicit way and neither has she. But she came with me one a trip for New Year's, we cook for each other, hang out endlessly etc. I'm not the super-good-looking guy you might expect her to be with, but I'm no slouch either. There's definitely SOMEthing in the air.

 

How do I play this? Time after time, situations have come up where I could have made a move (eg NYE as much as anything) but the stakes seem so high. I have so much to lose if she says no...and she's given me nothing concrete to go on, just this general vibe. All that said, I've given HER very little to go on too. Do I make a move and potentially ruin things with an increasingly good friend (and also useful co-worker in my creative/contacts-are-everything field, hadn't mentioned that before and is a big issue...) or just prepare to suck it up if it goes wrong? If so HOW?!?!? What's the best way to approach it? It's all very well to say, if she likes you she likes you, but the timing and place has to be right...and as a housemate, that alone-time can be hard to find.

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OK, I forgot to mention this before......but I have noticed that girls do not like to go out with guys located in their familiar surroundings.

 

I have tried talking to girls in my apartment building and they don't seem open to dating someone living close to them at all, let alone in the same house.

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