Do you date to GET TO KNOW someone or BECAUSE you know them?

[jujigatame]

This is a question I'm asking my friends, and frankly I'm disappointed in their responses. In my opinion, dating should be done to get to know someone. If you meet someone you are physically attracted to, and you seem to flirt with each other quite a bit, you should go out. What you should NOT do is become friends so that when it comes down to one of you asking the question, all sorts of other conflicting emotions are involved.

 

Most of my friends seem to think dating is something you do once you are sure you like someone and want a relationship. However, most of my friends have terrible difficulties communicating with their love interests and making relationships work out in general.

 

What do you all think of the subject? I think the problem is that "date" has become a loaded word and no longer means what it used to - a simple get-together in order to see if anything deeper can arise out of physical attraction.

[dude123]

If you meet someone you are physically attracted to, and you seem to flirt with each other quite a bit, you should go out. What you should NOT do is become friends so that when it comes down to one of you asking the question, all sorts of other conflicting emotions are involved.

I agree with what your saying.

[Balthamos]

I've always opperated under the opposite idea, but none of my relationships have really worked so maybe that's my problem. I'd never thought about it like that, but I guess it makes sense and if you guys are having luck with it, maybe I should give it a try...

[neva_black_n_white]

i guess it happens either way really, ive always avoided getting to know them before dating them because that kind of messed up the friendship. my current boyfriend is someone im learning about and getting to know whilst dating and that seems to work out a little more than the other method.

 

so i opt for the date and get to know.

 

kel

[fairykiss]

yeah you're probably right... but i think it's nature...when you accept date it's because there's something you like from that person (physical, intellectual, emotional)...meaning you have been acquainted with that person...before you both agreed to have a date...i mean do you honestly believe a date with a complete stranger is safe? i think not...

 

Unless you mean another degree of date or intimacy...but id say it would be a waste of time to have a date when in the very first place you are not attracted to that person...

[katerinacs]

At last someone brought the subject up. Well, since I'm not American and I've only been here for 5 years, it's been quite shocking for me the whole dating thing. Because I get all these guys "asking me out", and I thought they were just being nice and went with them, when I realized they were trying to kiss me or stuff like that... well yes, that was awkward! Well, I really don't feel comfortable with such a thing. Back home, we used to just hang out as groups, where you got to know the person you were attracted to and then through other people's opinions (and help!) you were able to figure out if this person liked you or not. If they did, then you "went out on a date", but after you already knew the person. Of course, if the two people don't know each other that well, but both are very outgoing and have that natural chemistry going on, then it's all right!

 

Personally, I feel more comfortable when I guy I don't know that much just casually talks to me or invites me to get some coffee (but always keeping it casual) and then later on anything more formal. On the other hand, if a friend I've been knowing for quite some time and we've had that chemistry, flirting, and the whole nine yards... and he asks me for a nice dinner to get together and stuff... well that's always nice!

[Sheyda]

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[Sheyda]

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