Thinking of her with someone else =[

[hanalei]

So its been around 2 months since she left me, we were together 2 years. I saved up some money, bought her a ring, and went to her house today and was greeted by her grandpa and he said she was next door with the neighbors. There I see her with this guy on the couch, in her pajama like clothes, the clothes she used to wear when we were together=[

 

I begged, cried and looked like such an idiot...and she didnt accept the ring but it was a lot of money so I gave it to her grandpa and told him put it under their tree. But now that I know she is with somebody else officially it hurts so bad, and I don't know what to think...She moved on so fast and I know I may have screwed up but she was so cold hearted to me. I need to keep busy but all I think about is them together. It hurts knowing she is perfectly fine with her neighbor friend and I am so miserable

[csrc85]

if you had been broken up for 2 months, why would you spend money on a ring and show up at her house with it unannounced?

 

sorry but she's obviously moved on so you need to do the same... i don't know the circumstances of your relationship but i don't think buying her an expensive gift would win her over if it's been two months.

[hanalei]

IDK i thought maybe she would see she made a mistake and see it was thoughtful, caring and yeah...love makes me do stupid things. I cant see myself loving again though or caring for someone, she seemed so perfect. I know i'm only 20 she is only 18, but still she was my first love and this is hard seeing she moved on already and I'm still caught up

[gee]

Hey laaboy,

 

Sorry, about what you are going through mate. Just know that you are not alone. Yeah, sometimes love makes us do stupid things. I'm living proof!

 

The best thing you can do is initiate unannounced NC! That means absolutely no form of communication! Let her be, let her go completely! It's hard, but the earlier you do it the better it will be for you my friend. It's only been 2 months. The feeling of pain is still raw. It's ok nothing is lost, yet. However, you might want to get that ring back! Use the money on something meaningful! Deposit it into your savings or something.

 

She left you and now has jumped into another relationship (she might regret it down the road). She isn't a keeper. You will love again (never say you won't love again..BS) and this will only happen once you have healed from this break up, and most importantly you have taken care of yourself.

 

Remove yourself from this situation because life is too short to be dwelling over someone that isn't worth it. Yeah, it hurts! Who said this stuff was easy? Don't contact her again because all you will get is updates about her relationship with guy next door.

 

Start taking care of yourself and if you feel down come back here and post. There are lots of great people here waiting to help you out! Read other peoples experiences and know you are not alone. It will be very helpful.

 

Change is not someting you can't do over night, but for the future. The healing process is slow in the beginning but as time progresses you will begin to see the light.

 

Keep your head up!

 

 

gee

[hanalei]

Hey thanks a lot Gee, very inspirational. I really hope I love again, she is so close to me now, only lives a few miles away I really hope I don't run into her again. I changed my number today too, and am trying to start a new.

 

And I also signed up for the air force about a month ago, and am in the Delayed Entry Program, just waiting for my ship date. Really excited for that, but until then I want to just keep strong and not think about her, cuz thats what kills me, thinking about her with someone else. I'll try though, more than anything I just want to be over her and move on with my life.

[gee]

Hey thanks a lot Gee, very inspirational. I really hope I love again, she is so close to me now, only lives a few miles away I really hope I don't run into her again. I changed my number today too, and am trying to start a new.

 

And I also signed up for the air force about a month ago, and am in the Delayed Entry Program, just waiting for my ship date. Really excited for that, but until then I want to just keep strong and not think about her, cuz thats what kills me, thinking about her with someone else. I'll try though, more than anything I just want to be over her and move on with my life.

 

Air Force? Good for you! That will be quite the experience for you. Sincerely, Good luck!

 

Honestly, changing your number was a good step. Keep on doing what you are doing and trust me, just trust you will heal from this!

 

See what happens when you don't think with your head and things don't turn out the way you want them to? You get nothing, but rejection! You must disappear now. Again, she might regret this down the road she might not you never know what the future holds. If she comes back let her do it on her own. Don't go out and buy her love back. Nothing works amigo. Just head a different direction for now. Let her wonder why you aren't around anymore.

 

Try to live your life to the fullest. Peace!

 

gee

[hanalei]

Yeah I get nothing but rejection and I feel even worse and worse hoping for a glimmer of hope. But I think now the book is closed, time to start a new chapter. I hope it will be a better one. Hope I can keep my damn mind off of her so it doesn't drive me crazy. I hope I don't hear from her or see her again, but wish her the best. I can't handle seeing her, or hearing from her, the less I know the best I think. Maybe she will realize her mistake, if not then its ok, as long as I don't hear from her and allow myself time to heal this wound I have.

 

And when I feel down, I'll be coming back to the forum and posting my thoughts haha.

[SighSob]

"the less I know the best I think"

 

That is EXACTLY the point of NC. I am in your same situation my friend, I'm 20 she's 18, she's dumped me out of the blue and she's got a "crush" on another guy...will she come back? That's a possibility. Will she live happily forever with this new guy? That could happen too. Both you and me DON'T want to know what they're doing while they think about it, though!! The worst part of going through a breakup is trying to picture what they're doing while we "work on ourselves" (thinking every second about them)....I wish I could erase her from my memory...no, not really, but that would make things so much easier.

[jonny_keogh]

Hey laaboy i know exactly how you're feeling. If you read some of my threads u will see that i have gone through a very similar situation. Its the worst thing that can happen to you and i know it hurts more than a kick in the nuts ever will. But i have been apart from my ex (Who was seriously my best friend, my soulmate, my everything) for nearly 2 months now, and havent seen or spoken to her since the day after we split up. She left me for her boss (Who i have found out is nothing special and a big age gap between them) and they are officially a couple now. I was prepared for it but it still hurt. But now im starting to enjoy my single life, no ties, no commitment. Time to enjoy myself. This is something you need to remember. I thought after 3 weeks it would never get better, but then i started smiling again. Now im kinda happy. Still dont wanna talk to her But im OK now. You will get better TRUST ME!! But only with no contact. I live a few miles away from my ex too so yeah there is a chance you will bump into her sometime. But money cannot buy you love, and she doesnt sound worth your time. Maybe this new relationship wont last, but only time will tell. Guarantee that if she does come back it will be the time you have gotten over her. Chin up mate. It gets better after a few months. But only you can make things better!! We've all gone through it, and what goes around comes around. It will happen to her too. Just watch this space

[franfran]

Use that ring money and take yourself on a nice vacation. Once my broke-ass ex pays me back the money he owes me that is exactly what I am going to do.

It's been about 2 months for me too but I'm allowing myself to feel better. I want to feel better so I am....Be sad and then be happy you are no longer with someone who doesn't appreciate the wonderful things you do for her! You're better than that.

[stereoeclectic]

i feel you.

 

i had 6 years in. she took off a year ago, and married somebody a couple months back.

 

you have to let her go.

 

live your life, make goals, and work to achieve them. i'm trying to do the same.

[hanalei]

Thanks for all the responses guys, I read through every one of them and they are all motivating me to stay strong. The holidays don't seem the same this year but I am glad to have my family and friends their for me through this rough time. I still can't get her off my mind and the memories just keep coming back and I keep thinking about her with this new guy, but I realize there is nothing I can do but move on. I really don't want her back, and I don't feel I am ready for a relationship anytime soon. Hopefully, next time I will learn from the mistakes I made and learn to treat the girl I love with more respect and not take her for granted. Learning from my mistakes is all I can take with this one.

 

I know in time I will get better, think of her less and less, and just move on with my life. I am very excited to be going into the Air Force, something I have wanted to do, but never had the courage to go when I was with her because leaving her would have been too hard for the both of us, but now I am single I can go do something with my life! I do wish her the best, true happiness, and I hope she gets what she wants because she is a really a special girl who has been through a lot. But now it is time to do me, and live my life, and there is a girl out there waiting for me to sweep her off her feet, and I will do that, heh....Gonna try keep everybody who wants to read updated on how I'm doing. Thanks again for everything, guys and girls!

 

New Years eve is gonna be hard though dont know what I am gonna do...the past 2 new years were special, and I hope I can enjoy this one. I can't wait for this year to end and 2009 to start, a brand new beginning for everyone here hurting!