Advice on being able to express what I'm feeling....

[RoxyGril]

I have been with my bf for over a year and he has been there for me through a lot of tough things. He is the one that I go to when I need a suggestion or advice on something. I love him with all my heart and he amazes me very day. I have find myself having a hard time to express what I may feel at that moment to him. It seems as if he has to pull it out of me to get the answer. I'm tired of not being able to do this exspecially with him.

 

I think the reason why I have trouble with this is because of being round my mom for so long that she has effected me so much. I always found it hard to express what I felt about her negative comments and attitude that she had. So, I always had kept it to myself and never really learned how to express to someone.

 

I have gotten a bit better with my bf about expressing it with him. But, still I'm working on it and I want to be able to express what I'm feeling if it needs to be said.

 

Is there any advice from anyone that may help? I could definitly use it!

[hiphop3]

hey your situation sounds the exact same as mine.

my dad is horribly negative and if i was always afraid to talk back to him.

i think this is why i can't communicate with my bf very well either, especially when it comes to emotional stuff. i usually will start saying something and then stop, and not be able to find the words, or get really uncomfortable (even though i know i should say it). he'll usually force it out of me but will wait patiently while i find the words.

i guess i'm just afraid that his reaction would be condescending like my dad's.

i've increasingly gotten better, and i think it's just a matter of time, and making yourself express what needs to be said. if there was another solution, i too would like to figure it out.

[RoxyGril]

hey your situation sounds the exact same as mine.

my dad is horribly negative and if i was always afraid to talk back to him.

i think this is why i can't communicate with my bf very well either, especially when it comes to emotional stuff. i usually will start saying something and then stop, and not be able to find the words, or get really uncomfortable (even though i know i should say it). he'll usually force it out of me but will wait patiently while i find the words.

i guess i'm just afraid that his reaction would be condescending like my dad's.

i've increasingly gotten better, and i think it's just a matter of time, and making yourself express what needs to be said. if there was another solution, i too would like to figure it out.

 

 

That's exactly how I feel when I need to express what I feel to my bf and I don't know if he's going to say something negative. Though I know that he wouldn't it's just become one of those crappy habits that I have because I've done so long with my mom. I just don't want this to cause a problem in our relationship. I know that I have gotten a little better since we've started dating but I still find myself doing it though.

 

What has helped you to get better? Was it just time that helped? I'm sure if there are other ways to work on this I would like to know as well!

 

Any advice from you and/or everyone else?