weird and complicated situation

[LongBeach]

hello,

 

I'm not sure anyone can help me or understand me, but i'll try ...

I met her online 2 years ago.

We spent countless hours online and on the phone.

We had planned to meet several times. She had problems, we had to postpone our encounter

every time.

 

She was supposed to come and see me last august. She didn't come, I worried for 2 long months,

I called the police, wondered why she didn't warn me, etc ... I thought a terrible accident happened to her etc ...

I didn't have her exact address. This is complicated, I cannot go into details.

Anyways, I finally heard from her again in september. She told me she quickly got married and she didn't know

how to tell me.

 

She loves me, I love her too. The problem is that she kind of "forgot" about me because I'm far.

She's not reliable, that's another problem.

 

Today, things have developed. She loves her husband and she loves me too.

Her husband has been cheating on her, although she doesnt call it "cheating" since she said she's for "open relationships".

I took a stab when she told me that. She now realizes that kind of relationship is wrong, it's a mistake.

 

I don't know what to do. She knows she married too quickly, she knows things aren't right with that guy she married,

she knows she's been very unfair with me and that she didn't give us any chance etc ...

 

At the same time, she says she's willing to work on her failing marriage ...

I don't know what to tell her, i'd like her to divorce.

 

I'd appreciate if someone could give me advice on what to do, what to tell her ...

 

Thanks

[tough_girl]

I don't know what to tell you but in your case, there are lots of possibilities.

 

1. You haven't met her, have you? I don't know how you could trust or love someone you don't really know. They can tell you something else and be someone else. So the chance here isn't very good, especially when she's got another reason.

So, maybe you should try having more time with her before deciding.

2. Sometimes I myself don't trust the guys on the internet. I'll make every excuse not to see them.

 

3. She isn't reliable like you said. What if you two have gotten married and she says she doesn't want you?

 

Advise: I would advise you not to pursue this relationship. Since the romance is not developed yet, it's more easier to walk away. And you wouldn't want to date a married woman, would you? She sounds quite rash in making decisions and that isn't a good sign. If both of you somehow manage to hitch up, she might tell you the same thing.

 

Lastly, like I said, you do not know her. She can tell you everything she wants. Maybe she's the one cheating on her husband or something.

 

Forgive me for being so straight forward. I hope I did not offend you. I advise you to leave and forget about her and I wish you best of luck.

 

The decision is yours. There is no right answer in life. No one is perfect. Life isn't perfect. It is our responsibilty to live it to the fullest.

[routerx]

THERE IS NOTHING WEIRD OR COMPLICATED ABOUT THIS:

 

Get as far away from this girl as possible.

 

First, she's married. So, you really should not be following up with her anymore. If she decides to get a divorce on her own, without your assistance, and she wants to see you, only then should you see her. Until then, just say, "I respect marriage and I don't want to ruin yours even though it's not a very good one, I still respect it."

 

She obviously does not respect marriage to jump into it so quickly or to be flirting with you while she is married.

 

Key point: If she flirts with you while she is married to someone else... she will do the same with someone else if she's married to you. This is a personality flaw that needs to get worked out.

 

I'm wondering why do you love her if you have never met her face to face? Why do you love her if she "forgot" about you?

 

I think you don't know what a loving relationship is and you are settling for something which is so beneath what you deserve.

 

I would run from this girl as fast as I could.

 

You deserve a person who is WITH YOU and will not FORGET YOU.