My gf's sexual problems please help out

[r6]

To start off im 21 and she is 19. (since I am reading very teeny posts)

Anyways I personally am very sexual. I have been dating my gf for 1 and a half years. In the beginning we had sex more than we do now but we have also experienced some problems.

 

1. She has never had an orgasim.

2. She has tried but can never get her self to have "good feeling" downbelow let alone an orgasim.

Also she never initiates the sex, ever I dont think she has once in 1.5yrs said lets go have sex, or lets go to the bedroom. Once or twice she has waited in the bed but thats about it.

3. When we first had sex it used to hurt her a lot and i learned not to go so deep but after a while it starts to hurt her.

4. Sometimes when we start off she says it burns now she had a very serious yeast infection we tried to get ride of it about 4 times until one time she took 2 7 day treatments in a row. Personally from going down there before and now it feels not as wet as it used to before this. I also feels weird its very hard to discribe almost like a texture liquid not smooth as it used to be.

5. After lots of trying different things we found that if we play with her clit while having sexy this brings her the most pleasure but also the most pain.

 

I always she that she starts to enjoy it but is also battleing the pain and she says this too me that it feels good and hurts at the same time. Usually we go on our sides and i put one leg though mine and the other up and play with her clit or she plays with it.

Anyways I would like to know how to help her increase her sexual desire. She does not enjoy sexy and only wants to have sexy about 10% of the time that we do. We used to have it a lot more and now I have to almost force it upon her.

 

If you have had any of these problems please explain how you delt with them. I told her she should try to play with her self to get a feeling for her own body because then I can help her pleasure herself better and she is going to try but she feels there is no hope for her and that she is in a select few who can never feel pleasure or have an orgasim.

 

I purchased her a couple pieces of leingery and a corset all of which she looks so sexy in but she does not think so.

I also think this might be a problem she is not very comfertable with what her body looks like even though she has a above average figure (she is short though 5.2)

Anyways any help would be awsome.

Thanks

[Ash]

She needs to be very relaxed and very low pressure in trying to achieve an orgasm. Do everything you can to set a very comfortable scene. Lots of time, soft clean sheets, candlelit room. Perhaps have her have a drink or two before to relax a bit more.

 

Try to get her turned on and excited even before you start. This may be tricky in your case. Make sure you do the things she finds sexy, not that you find sexy. Ask her what that is, if anything. One thing that many women like is to see their man in a particular piece of clothing. No matter how silly and self conscious you feel, consider doing that as an assistance to her.

 

Does she ever masturbate? I realize she hasn't orgasmed, but has she tried by herself? Many women find this easier, especially at the beginning. She can control the pressure, speed and exact position that way. Encourage her to do this, whether you're present or not.

 

Again, she has to be relaxed, letting her mind wander to a wonderful place where everything is great. No pressure, no expectations.

 

You may find direct stimulation is too much, so be indirect. Go beside her clitoris rather than directly on it.

 

One thing you could also try, if she's willing, is a clitoral vibrator. There's nothing wrong with this, many women use them and find otherwise it's very difficult to get on orgasm. Possibly once she learns what it feels like, what mental steps to take etc, she'll be able to do it without, and then perhaps you could be next.

 

Oral sex can be a great turn-on for many women. You've tried it without success I gather from your post. Again, gentle indirect contact will help.

 

When you're having conventional sex, if she is even a touch dry, please use some lubricant like KY Jelly. It will greatly increase her comfort.

[Boromir]

Ash is right on her masterbating. Many woman really don't know what they like and kind of rely on the men to show them, and what the hell do we know most of the time? It's not like they come with a drivers manual! Sheesh. Our sex organs are a sinch to figure out, there's? Well, everyone one of them is different. Anyway, some women are very comfortable masterbating and others aren't. I think the ones that do really get something out of sex while the ones that don't, don't masterbate. But if she doesn't know what she likes, I doubt you'll find out, so her getting to know herself is very very important.

 

She really needs to find out what she likes, and she might have to kick you out of the room for that. She'll have to be really comfortable with herself too. A toy or something might help, but I have also heard where some girls would rather play with their toys than have sex they don't get much from, but you have to find a middle ground.

 

She could talk to someone, a doctor or something, but sometimes a good book helps too. She has to be interested in learning about herself too. If she isn't, taking her by the hand may not always be helpful.

 

I have heard everything from running water in the bath tub to pretty big vibrators doing it for girls. Try them all if she is open to it. This should be fun. If she is hung up on it, talk talk talk about it. The more you talk about it and make her feel at ease about it the easier it will be for her to try something new. AND DONT MAKE HER FEEL LIKE U R FRUSTRATED.

 

I had a girlfriend that had never had an orgasm before me, and she didn't even know how to ride me, and was really embarrassed. It took two seconds for me to just throw her on top and tell her to pretend that I wasn't even there and just take her time moving and doing whatever feels good. It took a few times, but eventually she discovered a few things she liked and how certain things felt when she did this and that, and before long I didn't have a choice anymore about what we were going to do or how. It was cool. The important thing though was forgetting about pleasing me for the moment and doing it for her. She had to be comfortable and take things a little slow. When you strip away all the chemistry and the emotions, you realize it is a mechanical act (sorry ladies, it's true), and you just have to hit the right buttons. We all have them.

 

Good luck!

[r6]

We have used lube before but it becomes sticky and she would rather not use it. I usually just use saliva. Also we bought a vibrator but rarely use it. She is going to try and masterbate and I believe she just has to find her own elements. The thing she says is not much if anything turns her on. She says she can not turn herself on. She believes she has a problem and i think this is why it is so hard is because she feels that there is no hope for her.

 

Personally I can not understand this but I try to be as helpfull as I can be always asking her what she wants to do....

[lil_mamarains13]

R6, I used to have the same problem with my ex boyfriend. I hated having sex with him because it hurt. He was rough and out of control also. Plus he had cheated on me with other girls which I didn't find out until several months after we broke up. Come to find out he had gotten chlamydia which is an STD, and he passed it on to me. Thank God there is a cure for it. Here is some information on it, and since you are very "sexual" you may have passed this on to her without knowing you had it yourself:

 

What Are the Symptoms of This STI?

Because chlamydial infection does not make most people sick, you can have it and not know it. Those who do have symptoms may have an abnormal discharge (mucus or pus) from the vagina or penis or pain while urinating. These early symptoms may be very mild. Symptoms usually appear within one to three weeks after being infected. Because the symptoms may be mild or not exist at all, you might not seek care and get treated.

The infection may move inside the body if it is not treated. There, it can cause pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) in women and epidydimitis in men, two very serious illnesses.

 

C. trachomatis can cause inflamed rectum and inflammation of the lining of the eye ("pink eye"). The bacteria also can infect the throat from oral sexual contact with an infected partner.

 

 

I may be totally of base even, but I don't think it could harm anything for her to see a doctor to make sure she has nothing wrong with her. She also may just be prone to having yeast infections which can leave her very sore, and a doctor can provide prescription medicine to help her with that also. Well I hope I have not offended you and I hope I helped some.

[r6]

But the thing is she is the only girl i have been sexually active with oral and intercourse. I have kissed other girls so there is no way i could have an STD. I saw a doctor because I thought maybe since she got a coldsore one day which has never happed that maybe i got herpes but it ended up just being her yeast infection spread to me, causing redness on the tip of my penis.

[lil_mamarains13]

Like I said she just may have a problem with yeast infections and stays sore because of that. You may want to have her go to a doctor to have her pap smear done and explain to him what she is going through when she is having intercourse. I didn't know that sex wasn't supposed to hurt until I had sex with a different guy. Just a suggestion.

[lil_mamarains13]

Sorry let me clear that up a bit. Just a suggestion on going to see a doctor not getting with another guy. Sorry that looked a little unclear to me after re-reading it so I wanted to clear it up before you miss read it also.

[r6]

Can you elaborate on your terms of rough and out of control?