She's doesn't have a bf, can't confess feelings to her

[whitefang]

Hey everyone,

 

There's this girl at college that i have feelings for as i have explained in a previous post. At first i though that she might be the type that would have a bf because she's so pretty. It turns out that she doesn't and now that she knows that someone likes her i don't think i could say hi to her when i see her again now that she's knows (yep, im one pathetic guy ). I wan't to get her by herself and ask her out but im to scared to go up (i know what your thinking, as well as my friends that i should go up and talk to her ).

 

I know that she won't eat me if i ask her out, but i just feel... i can't describe what i feel really, it's her confidence and personality that i like about her. I only have 1 lecture and a practical each week. As well as that she finishes her course this summer and i really hope that she stays on to do the higher course (because i don't wan't her to leave). I have up until before summer to ask her out.

 

I love her so much i would tell her tomorrow, i say it to myself and i when i step onto the college grounds and i turn weak and i can't do it, why is this?

 

Does anyone know how to boost your confidence and your ego?

 

Any comments or advice would be appreciated .

 

Thanks.

 

- whitefang

[macdomat]

Okay, what I'm about to say is going to make me sound like a world class a**hole, but I wish to god somebody had told me this a while back.

 

You DON'T love her. You have a CRUSH on her. You have a physical attraction to this girl. That's all.

 

What do you know about her? What's her favorite color? What does she want to be when she gets out of school? Does she drink? Does she smoke? (Don't automatically say no to the last two before you know for sure)

 

Identify your fear. Are you more afraid of rejection? Failure? Or is it that if you went up and talked to her, she might actually HEAR you? Perhaps it's fear of success?

 

Keep this in mind: DON'T put her on that pedestal. She's not the perfect virgin madonna. She's human, like you. She's flawed, In more ways than one, I'm sure.

 

It's not a matter of confidence. I'm sure you're confident enough when you need to be. But if you really, really want to try your hand: Slap yourself in the face, say "What the heck is wrong with me? She's only human." and then go ask her out.

 

Want a good opening line?

 

"Hi, I'm ."

[akatoro]

Hey, that's great Whitefang!

All your worries have been for nothing and now you can't find courage to ask her out, huh?

 

Well, why don't you summon all the feelings you have for her as a friend. (this does not mean that you have to shove your lovey-dovey feelings away though..). But summon those feelings and walk up to her and just ask her if she'd be interested in doing something together with you. (-Then- release those lovey-dovey feelings and faint or run away or whatever you choose to do. Atleast she'll know)

 

Really, if I was approached by a shaking and studdering girl who was avoiding my eyes.. I'd just scream, "Ah! So cute!" and just wrap myself around her finger...

... Of course, I am not like most people But in my humble opinion what she is (and what you would be) displaying is nothing but raw honesty. It takes A LOT of courage to ask someone up front like that and it's a great token of determination.

 

So how can you build up the courage that you think you need? Well you know for a fact that you two are good friends (Am I remembering this correctly?). She is interested in you as a friend and so you must have some valuable assets, right?

You seem to be very determined to ask her out; determination is the key to gathering spirit and courage. If you have determination you'll easily find courage..

 

And IMHO it doesn't matter if it's a crush or real love. You are interested in her and you want to get to know her better. What is wrong with that? Nothing, really. It helps you experience feelings and you also get a real close friend that you can confide in about anything. What? Love can't blossom from a crush? Show us that this statement is a lie, won't you? =)

 

Show her, and us, that you won't fold for cowardice. Master the situation and there will be a prize, be it in form of a wonderful girl or a stronger character.

 

Good luck to you! //

Akatoro

[whitefang]

Hi

 

Thanks for replying, i do know her, we do talk now and then but when we do it's only for a short time (before one of our friends pulls us away).

 

Her favourite color is Blue; She want's to be a Vet when she finishes college; She does drink; She doesn't smoke.

 

I suppose it's fear of rejection. It's not often i make the first move when it comes to asking girls out. I take your advice and slap myself on the face and ask her out.

 

Thanks.

 

- whitefang

[whitefang]

Hey akatoro,

 

Thanks for replying, im gonna tell her how i feel about her, even if i have problems expressing my emotions to others. Im sure i have some courage to (i have some determination, just a bit) ask her out. I suppose the worst that could happen is that she says no and still want's to be friends. If she says no should i says that, with me asking her out that i wouldn't wan't it to affect our friendship (i suppose she would feel the same, with her being a friend).

 

I'll give it my best, im not promissing that i'll do it tomorrow or this week but i will confess my feelings to her. She invited me to her party for her 18th birthday, should i ask her before this or after?

 

Thanks for the confidence booster and the advice, very much appreciated akatoro.

 

Thanks again.

 

- whitefang

[QTpie87]

i think it would be really sweet if you just went up to her to talk and brought up the fact that you would like to go on a date with her. you don't have to tell her that you have feelings for her just yet if you don't want just take her on a date, see how it goes, if you have fun then ask her out again, start hanging out more and if you still like her then bring it up around or i mean after a few dates. simple right? well good luck. if you have any more questions then just pm me.

love ya,

Qtpie87

[whitefang]

Hi QTpie,

 

Thanks for the advice as well very much appreciated.

 

I've pm'd you a question, if you could answer it.

 

Thanks.

 

- whitefang