the right guy, the wrong time?

[ammeg]

Ok so this is a long story but i'll try and cut it short.

I'm just out of a long term relationship and am back on the dating scene. I met a guy who is perfect for me. He's attractive, we have so much in common and a decent trusting bloke, just what I need. He feels the same and in fact let me know how he felt first, we've talked openly and honestly about our previous relationships, what we want in the future etc etc.

 

So we were due to meet up again at the start of the week but I get a call from him telling me his ex has been in touch to say she is pregnant. Now he does not want to get back together with her but he's a genuinely decent guy who wants to support her if indeed it is his baby. She's already at least 3 months pregnant by his guesstimations.

 

My dilemma is that we are such a good match but I don't want to look like a mad stalker or put any pressure on him. I've not known him for long but we have talked a lot! They are going for the first scan this week so I think he may know more about the timings and things from there.

 

I'm hanging back, he says he does not want to 'drag' me in to all this but he's almost talking like his life is over and he wont be in a relationship. I have made it clear that I can deal with what's happening if he wants to give it a go but obviously he has a lot on his mind at the moment.

 

I'm being very selfish but have not gotten on with and been attracted to someone this much since my ex. I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for. While I want to talk with him I don't think that's the best idea so soon cause I'll just end up pushing him and he's got enough to deal with. So do I wait and see? As the say, what's for you 'll no go by you.

I'm so confused! ](*,)

[sidehop]

That's hard and I think you are right, it may just not be the right time but don't give your hopes up! If he's not the father of the baby then more doors may open up and even if he is the father it doesn't necessarily mean it's the end.

[ghost69]

you are just out of a long term relationship. don't go jumping into potential drama. find someone else to see while he figures all this out.

[Daegas]

How well do you really know him?

[ammeg]

Thanks for your replies. It's not the easiest situation. I'm fighting the urge to contact him but maybe in a week or so I'll send a text to see how he's getting on.

Obviously I haven't known him for long but we have talked for hours on end. For the past few weeks not a day has gone by without some sort of contact and we spend three hours on the phone one night just talking about life. I feel he is being very honest with me which I totally appreciate. His ex landed this on him on his birthday on Saturday and he phoned me on Sunday morning. I think I know him well enough to know that he will do the right thing by her and be honest with me.

I am just out of a long term relationship and I have met a few guys along the way which has been fun but nothing more than that. I'm not going to stop everything for this guy but it's really hurting to think it's all been taken away.

I suppose I just need to vent, my friends wonder what's coming next since my whole break up with my ex was worse than a tv soap! I'm totally aware that I'm a bit fragile after the break up but he's not the first guy I have met. I just need to chill out a bit I think!

Thanks