drewciouS281 Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 well thats good you feel this way man. I have been there in your exact same spot! maybe not with the distance and all but blaming myself for everything. Keep in mind, im sure you were not fully at fault. she needs to make changes too or it will end again and again and again. It took my ex and i 3 tries to finally realize we could just not stop the fighting. You have a one way mind set now so go get it over with! GOOD LUCK BUD! Link to comment
paramour Posted June 10, 2008 Author Share Posted June 10, 2008 thanks you guys are great. i just spoke to her on the phone casually and said im sick iowa, i was never meant to be here this long, im getting in my car and driving to la to get my back to my career. ill live in my car if i have to and she said" just know that if it ever comes to u have to sleep in your car, please call me. but dont take advantage of it." she said. so im moving back to la. i may have to live in me car. i might meet a friend that my have somebody thats lookin for a roomy. we'll see. or should i just go straight to her house and surprise her? Link to comment
paramour Posted June 10, 2008 Author Share Posted June 10, 2008 i noticed my grammars messed up. ive been up for 29 hours now. Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 so it sounds like she is still set on being broken up? Call her when you get into LA and see if she is willing to meet up. Dont just show up to her house. Then have a deep talk. If it helps, write down all of your thoughts, your feelings. Make a list of things you would like to work on and change for her. But, dont make it sound like its ALL your fault. NEVER us the words YOU, YOU ALWAYS, or eve I at the beginning of a sentence regarding feelings. instead use I FEEL THIS AND I FEEL THAT. This way it doesnt seem like your pointing the finger at her or yourself. Your putting out what you feel. I learned this from a good cognative councelor. Then if you meet her, read the list, give her a rose, be sincere and after you read the note tell her how you truly feel. Dont ask to get right back into things, ask her if she would be willing start over and take things slow so that you two can ensure things will change you would be more than willing. BE SINCERE! and no matter if she still says no DONT GET UPSET! Although at first she still may say no, if your patient and show effort but not too much, she will see your changing. Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 If she is willing for the slow start and she may mention being friends (but deep down she still cares) dont let that scare you. When and if you guys hang, do not talk about the past relationship, dont ask if she has met anyone, dont seem depressed. You have to make her feel comfortable, laugh, smile, enjoy your company again and you will be golden. I did all of this the first time my ex and i split up from it being my fault and it worked. Of course i screwed it up 2 months later but i learned my lesson. we got back together 9 months later but that was after i let go and moved on. She then wanted me back. Its odd how things happen man but just like that saying goes, "if you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it was meant to be. If not than they were never yours to begin with". There may be more to the relationship i dont know but only you know how much damage has been done. Sometimes too much is too much but give what i said a shot. Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 Hey man im out but hit me up on a message if you want further advice. I can help guide you to get her back but it just depends how late it is. good luck! DONT BEG!! Link to comment
paramour Posted June 10, 2008 Author Share Posted June 10, 2008 great advice, man. i am definitely taking it with me. thank you. it sounds brilliant. im excited and scared all at the same time. but im leavin tomorrow. i just told my mom and my sister Link to comment
paramour Posted June 10, 2008 Author Share Posted June 10, 2008 Hey man im out but hit me up on a message if you want further advice. I can help guide you to get her back but it just depends how late it is. good luck! DONT BEG!! youre a saint man i will hit you up for sure. thank u so much. no begging. got ya man. Link to comment
paramour Posted June 11, 2008 Author Share Posted June 11, 2008 update: so we just spoke on the phone. we kept it casual. we spoke about me leaving tomorrow. she thinks im going there to continue my life in los angeles. but i know she knows the real reason. shes not stopping me. she says if thats what i want. she is concerned about me possibly living in my car. i shouldnt have told her that that was a great possibility. my plan is to continue my work out there while i live in my car till i get my own apartment or find a room mate or something. im not staying at a hotel. and since there is a huge possibility of staying in my car, im not gonna bring anything with me. just my iphone and a back pack of clothes. i dont want to worry about leaving my laptop in the car while im working. los angeles can get sketchy. i hope this works out. i leave tomorrow. i am scared. but i have to fight for what i love. and i thank u all for the support. feel free to voice out. im all ears. because at times i cant help but feel like my judgement gets impaired with love. Link to comment
paramour Posted June 11, 2008 Author Share Posted June 11, 2008 and btw i'll have a gym there to keep sane and inshape and ofcourse, to shower! all planned out. i only got 3 hours of sleep for the past 2 days. i just cant sleep. i have to start packing. Link to comment
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