Saw the ex last night!!!

[Senna]

I saw my ex girlfriend last night for the first time in 5 months (we were together for 5 years) l have no idea why she decided she wanted to meet me after all this time l can only guess it was because l had arranged to meet her friend for a drink on xmas eve and maybe jealousy kicked in.

 

Anyway l handled it so well she could tell l was a more together much stronger person which l am! l didn't bring us up she did, she bought thing's up like pet names and talked to me in our baby voice which surprised me!!

 

She got really jealous about silly thing's l'd done and how my hair had changed maybe it was loss of control over my life.

She looked at me in that way, her eyes were fixed on mine for along time and l'm sure we could of ended up kissing.

 

I don't know where to take it from here, if l knew l was going to see her again as friends l have no doubt that we would be together in a matter of weeks but theres also another part of me that doesn't want to go there again in fear l would get hurt, she is the love of my life l don't want her to go from my life again.

Any ideas would be helpful?

[avman]

Hi Senna,

 

You are at a really vulnerable point right now. After just losing your friend I'd be extra, extra careful about considering rekindling your relationship with your ex.

 

It sounds like you handled it really well. I'd suggest giving yourself some time to heal from your loss. Then when your head is clear, you can decide whether to consider getting back together with her.

[vfunkera]

hey senna,

 

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Remember that a couple of months ago? You responded to my post telling me you had gone 3 months without contact with your ex, and she still hadnt called back. You seemed understandably sad and i couldnt really guarentee anything other then she was moving on and you should start as well.

 

Now look where you are you lucky dog! She would never have thrown away 5 years like that, and your story is an inspiration to all of us! You went the right way about it, hung in there, and now shes crawling back to you.

 

I did mention however that you needed to use that no contact phase to start moving on and not be so hurt. Undoubtedly you are now much stronger person for it as you mentioned, but i am still scared that you are hooked on memories rather then who this girl really is- she has changed since you two were last together.

 

but theres also another part of me that doesn't want to go there again in fear l would get hurt, she is the love of my life l don't want her to go from my life again.

 

My friend, is she the love of your life, or is it memories of the good times you had? What about the pain she inflicted on you in these 5 months. My suggestion would be to remain friends for a bit. See who she now is, and whether she is the same girl you were with 5 months ago. More importantly, try to realise what her motivations are for coming back to you. This is very important if you dont want to get hurt again.

 

Have you learnt from your mistakes? Why you two broke up in the first place? Are you going to make sure that the same mistakes will never be repeated? If you have, then go for it, and make sure she doesnt walk away again. And i will tell you one more thing. The moment you start to worship her and treat her like gold, is the moment you start to lower your chances of staying together. Trust me. That is why knowing her motivations for returning is so important. If she came back because she realised she loved you, then she loves you, and not your gifts and money. So be yourself. Any other reason for her to come back (e.g. shes lonely, it didnt work out with the other guy) is probably a waste of your time because it wont last.

 

Good luck Senna