Reasons Behind Having Low Self-esteem

[SherryM]

Hello there everyone, I'm back with less self-esteem but maybe a little clarity.

 

In my last post I discussed having low self-esteem but now I want to share with you why I do.

 

Recently I've been obsessing over my teeth. I had serious dental work done on them. To be honest I never took good care of my teeth and my genes are not the best when it comes to tooth cavities. I've had a number of root-canals done and now a couple of crowns and a bridge. They are not visible or anything but I constantly remind myself of their existence. I feel that I'm so young to have lost so much of myself.

 

I now take great care of my teeth. But I feel so low about the situation I have gotten myself into. I obsess over what would possibly happen to these crowns. I obsess over the fact that if my fiancé found out he would look down to me. Maybe I'm afraid of that because he thinks the world of me and I feel that somehow I will fail him...

 

I know that I'm attractive and I have a lot of good qualities. People adore my personality and they never seem to get why I would even feel this way.

 

Instead of wanting to dress up and start a new day, once or twice every month I feel like sinking in my bed and having a long sleep.

 

My life is moving forward in so many aspects. I'm moving ahead in my career, degree and my relationship. However, there is a big block I have placed right at the center of my personal life that prevents me from ever having a satisfying life simply because I don't really love myself. I wish one day that I sop obsessing over my looks. Or to know for a fact that having dental work is not such a big deal.

 

All of my insecurities might have been caused by being dumped at the young age of 19. It ruined me a great deal.

 

Please be sensitive in your replies, I came here because I need your help. Thanks!

[hamsalad]

NOBODY is perfect. Do not get obsessive over too much. You've fixed your teeth and, as you've said, you are moving forward in many KEY areas of your life. You are far and above many others who have chosen a lower path in life!

 

You are doing just fine!

[Timebandit]

Realize that there is quite a pressure on young girls to look very good. I am shocked when I hear how many perfectly good looking girls who have issues with their looks.

 

It is sadly very common....

[chrissykissy83]

Hey Sherry, you'd be amazed at how many people have dental work done these days (including myself), tom cruise even had braces for a while.

Dont feel down about it, at least you got the problem fixed you should be proud fo yourself for getting it done.

As for the self esteem thing, im a very shy person and use to have very low self esteem, and as i have gotten abit older its getting abit better, i think it has to do with accepting yourself for who you are, and not caring as much about what other people think, as ive found that you cant please everyone.

I obsess about my looks all the time, i feel like it can be quite an unhealthy thing as i never feel satisfied, though i am trying to look at other things with more importance than looks lately.

[SherryM]

It's so hard when you know you look good, but you feel so ugly. When I'm obsessing over something, I become easily repelled by that body part. As a result, I know for sure I would repel others. I used to be comfortable around people, now I'm taking a step behind.

[chrissykissy83]

It's so hard when you know you look good, but you feel so ugly. When I'm obsessing over something, I become easily repelled by that body part. As a result, I know for sure I would repel others. I used to be comfortable around people, now I'm taking a step behind.

 

hey, i have a birthmark on my face(just above my lip) and i hate my nose, and when i was younger i was convinced i was the ugliest thing ever.

There isnt one picture of me in my house from when i was the age 13-19 as i felt too ugly to go near a camera.

[SherryM]

I hear you sister, "but" you're cute. I am obsessing over my teeth now and I feel inadequate no matter how attractive I am. I wish I know if people would think less of me.. I don't know why I have this need to be perfect. It started after I met my guy.. I think I'm afraid of being dumped again. Somehow I related being dumped with looks. What do I know, I was only 19.

[SherryM]

And I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I see no birthmark!

 

Thanks for your encouraging words..

[chrissykissy83]

And I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I see no birthmark!

 

lol!!

if it makes you feel better my ex cheated on me with a girl who my male friends have told me was less attractive.

Dont obsess that your going to be dumped again or fear it either,i did this and someone told me that by obsessing so much you can kinda make it happen.

and dont let your boyfriend know you're scared of being dumped, this gives them more power.

act confident like you dont care (even if you do) it will keep him on his toes.

when i was 19 i use to feel inadequate and everything, but trust me as you get older you do accept yourself.

[LilyXX]

interesting, i find that attractive people are usually the once who obsess about their looks. I constantly obsess about my body, my teeth, my health, you name it. I think it is a sign of inner tension.

 

I can't judge for you, but I know this is a real problem for me. I find that just doing something fun that takes my find of it really helps. I am also going to see a Homeopathic doctor for some other health problems I am having, hopefully she can also help me be more relaxed and obsess less.

[just M.E.]

Sherry -

 

Your post struck a chord with me, in my youth I felt I was a very "Plain Jane" and had no confidence in my appearance. As time went on, I gained confidence in my accomplishments and slowly started to see myself as attractive in my own way. I also learned that there was so much I could to keep my appearance up, to move in a manner of health, strength and confidence.

 

Only recently, I have been going through pictures of myself as a young woman. I wasn't plain at all, I was fresh faced and sweet, attractive. Don't waste these wonderful years of your life in doubt, it erodes your enjoyment of your days.

 

I've got a few more years under my belt than you, I had braces going off to college, talk about feeling like the ugly duckling! But I wasn't, and I made choices early in my life not realizing I deserved more from life. And the "prettiest" and most popular girl in my high school is now very homely and very over weight because she simply did not take care of herself. Life is a great equalizer, love it and enjoy, it adds to your beauty, inside and out!

[crosstownTraffic]

Just M.E. is right.. don't let others opinion of you destroy the happiness in your life, "

Only recently, I have been going through pictures of myself as a young woman. I wasn't plain at all, I was fresh faced and sweet, attractive. Don't waste these wonderful years of your life in doubt, it erodes your enjoyment of your days."

 

 

I also feel very unattractive at the moment cuz the last guy I dated was very unappreciative of me. It does have an effort on your ego.

 

Well, all these guys sayng that us women should not obsess about our looks, how can you blame us? So many guys in this culture expect women to be perfect, "flawless", and if we are not .. then we are kicked to the curb, or deemed inferior by many men.

 

I think it's a ridiculous attitude myself.. Surely not all guys have no flaws but we dont' obsess over guys flaws and insist everyone man we want for a suitor be "flawless".

 

It's our media's fault to some degree. They want to sell something, and make alot of bank on it.. so they pick the best looking possible model to advertise that product.. Then then expose them again and again to the public, elevating them to some "goddess" status! Well, it's just about making them money. Who would of thought that the Victoria Secret's models would of become millioniares years ago??

 

Hey.. i cannot even think of any famous male models who a featured as underwear models, other than Marl Wahlberg.. who's since become an actor instead, can you?

 

Anyway, my point being, society puts so much flipping pressure on us females to be "flawless", it is no wonder we are so hard on ourselves...

If we could only be ourselves... then we would never "measure up" to society's harsh standards! It's superficiial and ridiculous, but then, I feel that our society has become very shallow and ridiculous nowadays anyway.

 

Hey.. OP.. I'm sure that your fiance loves you for you... never mind your teeth.. Don't worry about it...