Wish to forget

[Reilly2856]

Why is it so hard to let go of things that are clearly not good for us?

 

I dated my ex for 5 years. At the beginning, our relationship was simply perfect but eventually, things started falling apart. Through that who period, a lot was said but each time, we still got back together. I guess, for my part, I was hopelessly in love with the guy and after investing so much time in the relationship, I didn't want to give up. For him, he said he loved me, but his actions didn't show that.

 

I haven't spoken to him for a while. We do occasionally talk now and then, and I don't know why it is that I even bother. This guy really hurt me but just like a moth to a flame...I seem to go be drawn to him. My head knows that he is not for me....we are wrong for each other on so many levels and yet, I still jump at the chance whenever he opens up the communication lines. Its pure torture! Eventually, I start wanting what we had back when I know that it is in the past. That he is no longer the guy I fell in love with but I so want that guy back. Yet, he is not it.

 

Why is it so hard to let go of the past? I've come to resent myself for going back to him...its hard. Each time, I promise not to maintain any communication with him...something always goes wrong. I guess part of the reason is that though I know he is not who I thought he was...despite all his imperfections and problems, I still love him. That love keeps on drawing me back even though it just hurts to remain in this situation. He keeps telling me he loves me, yet its hard to believe his words. He has done a lot of hurtful things in the past which I foolishly forgave.

 

At this point, I just want to be able to let him go. I am a lot happy without him. Yet, there are lingering feelings...I still haven't gotten over the fact that I loved him once...perhaps I still do???](*,)

 

Yet, I know he is not someone who is good for me....how do you make your heart let go of someone who is clearly not meant for you?

[brooooooooke]

it's soso easy to only remember the good times. there are obviously reasons you don't feel that he is right for you. remind yourself those reasons and back yourself up. it seems logical that after some time, youll move on to better things.

probably easier said than done but who knows..

 

i hope that helped you?

feel better.

[Angel_baby]

As the person was a part of your life and you have good and bad memories together... there will most likely always be some part of you that cares for him.

 

Even so it does not mean you two work as a couple. It is really good that you already see this. But you need to keep remembering this to. He won't ever be that person you first fell in love with. You are in love with the "idea" that he could change. It won't happen and letting it go is hard.

 

Don't contact him at all. You are torturing yourself by doing so. I think you will find you will be much happier if you just cut off all communication with him. When you feel tempted or weak you can always come here for support.

[Hunny1607307342]

What are the things which he did to you that hurt you so much? xx

[Gratsy]

I don't think you should beat yourself up over it. Everyone has their weaknesses. He's yours.

[ghost69]

the good times can overshadow the bad. especially when there is a time period over a year.

[Reilly2856]

Thank you for all your helpful responses. I guess I will just have to exert more self-control because like Gratsy said, he does seem to be my weakness.

 

To answer Hunny's question: There was a lot of lying on his part on a lot of things. It started out with small things but gradually got more and more frequent...to the point, where I could not trust anything he said. There would always be doubt in my mind. I think that was the main reason why I decided to end it. I just couldn't get over his lies.